This entry is about a small thing that keeps bothering me for some time. It's about outfit. It is very tedious, yes. But sometimes I do think a lot about meaningless things that at times I do missed out the bigger picture, in this case, who do I really want to impress by wearing such outfit?
So, it all began about 10 years ago, when I don't really mind what clothes I need to wear. I was a simple girl. A pair of jeans and a t-shirt will do, in almost any occasion. I wore those everyday, even at home. If I need to go out, I just slipped a tudung, usually black, and at times just skipped that. So, it was easy back then.
After some years, I realised I need to change. As a Muslim woman, you have a dress code that you have to obliged. It is a must. Then, the dilemma began. Wearing long sleeve t-shirt was somewhat uncomfortable that I had constant urge to fold the sleeves up to the middle of my arms. And making sure the length of the t-shirt is wayyyyyy below your bottom, is also a problem to me. It was not cool, not trendy. And most of the t-shirts have cute pattern and all, and I was against cute outfit as I dressed as a rock and metal girl previously.
The main question is, why did I do this in the first place? At times, I did had this feeling of holier-than-thou. Yeah, I dressed to impress others. And that was why I reverted to my old self, actually worst than before.
So, after several ups and downs in life, I looked back and I found out I still not dress as I prefer. It was more to favour others rather than Allah.
No, I'm not going to wear niqab or big bulky black jubah. Not my way. I don't mind anyone who wear those. It's their choice. I even ditched my 'tudung labuh' as I realised I wore those to impress other people. I will just wear anything as long as it agrees the dress code. And most of the time, I'm happy with it.