Eidul Adha 2010

Eidul Adha 2010, juga penanda bermulanya cuti semester, juga penanda sudah setahun aku berada di IPG ni. Sangat cepat masa berlalu. Sangat cepat. Semalam yang dirasakan amat jauh kini sudah pun berlalu.

Jadi dikesempatan ni aku nak ucapkan...

Salam Aidiladha buat mak abah, adik-adik dan keluarga, cikgu-cikgu dan kawan-kawan sekolah dulu (SK Batu Talam, SK Muhammad Jabar, SRK Clifford, SK (P) Methodist, SMK Clifford, SHAH Pekan), rakan-rakan di KMPh, rakan-rakan dan lecturers di KYUEM dulu, rakan-rakan yang masih bertebaran di UK ataupun yang dah balik Malaysia dah, juga rakan-rakan di IPG Tengku Ampuan Afzan. Tak lupa geng-geng LRO dan Multiply. Entah korang semua ingat aku lagi ke entah. Selamat semua!!

Eid 2010

I was looking at my photo this year, seems that I lost my touch. I simply am lazy to set up the setting, and just use simple manual setting. And that's that. Maybe because of lots of things to do. Rasa macam serabut dan terkejar-kejar.

Actually yes. Woke up late that morning, go to bath, then 'bela' tudung yang tak jadi-jadi for an hour or two, minta maaf ceremony, then balik kampung, ziarah kubur, pergi beraya ke Jelu, kemudian ke Cheroh, balik rumah Wan semula. Tak dapat nak rest sangat sebab budak-budak ramai yang seronok untuk dilayan. Malam tu makan-makan (ada choc moist cake!!), then ada bbq ketam udang sotong ayam, aku makan ketam, bibir bengkak, muntah-muntah, balik rumah layan cerita hantu then tidur.

Next day, bangun lambat lagi, basuh gelas bekas kuih, mandi, gosok baju, orang datang beraya, serve, then beraya ke Keledek, ke Lipis, ke Selindang then ke Kechau. Itu pun 2 bijik rumah tak jadi pergi. Balik rumah, dah tak larat nak jalan dah.

Next day lagi, ada 3 kemungkinan. Sama ada dapat ikut Abah balik Mayam ziarah keluarga Mak Ngah (kakak Abah), atau kena tinggal sebab tak muat kereta, atau pergi dengan kereta Abang. So far, kemungkinan kedua tu ada percentage paling tinggi ie 99.99% untuk terjadi. Plan untuk esok, tidur and buat assignment. Haihhhhh....

Dikesempatan ini, saya ingin menyeru kepada adik saya, sila la beli kereta. Gua nak jalan-jalan pun susah woo. Asik-asik yang tua ni la mengalah. Huh!!

Anyway, I've met Angah's wife-to-be yesterday. Cantik. Putih. Orang Kelantan tapi asal Pahang. Bakal jadi misi (Bear ada geng la nanti), tapi tengok gaya boleh jadi kasar sikit (so that boleh ngam la dengan family kami yang memang ganas-ganas belaka). Okay, that's my future adik. As Angah told Kecik earlier, 'panggil Kak Ngah tau!'

I don't know about Bear's bf. He came late today, and surprisingly Abang came early. Rupanya semalam dia membuta dari lepas Jumaat sampailah ke paginya. Kami memang sama-sama kuat tidur, tidur tak ingat apa; kesimpulannya memang dua-dua perangai macam ape tah. Tapi bagus juga hari ni dapat keluar awal dan dapat balik awal jugalah. And I don't know what happen to 'Hari Menyambut Menantu' today.

Itu cerita seronok-seronok. Yang tak seronoknya bila ingat assignment dan 7 hari yang tak sempat nak siapkan apa-apa. Raya alone bolehlah nak buat assignment ke, ke kelas ke, buat lab report ke, lectures ke. But bila dengan family, dengan orang-orang tersayang, rasa macam want join them, do lots of things with them, have a joyous moment with them.

As I said in previous post, this raya is different for me, compared to years before. I never visit anyone this much. I never have an enjoyable experience during raya before. And I love it. And I hope I'll have this same moment each day of my life. Dengan keluarga, dengan kawan-kawan, dengan future family.

Memang seronok jumpa kawan lama. Diaorang bukan duduk jauh pun dari aku. Area Lipis tu juga. Tapi bila dah lost contact, diam sajalah.

Anyway, tadi lalu depan maktab. And I was screaming, 'tak nak balik maktab lagi!!!' and Abang just laughed at me.

Dead Tired

I think, this raya will be the most....complete that I ever had, and I hope it will be the greatest until I can feel so happy celebrating it.

Before this, I don't even feel I want to celebrate. What is the happiness in there if you have to work hard for a month at the bazar, plus preparing lots of food, ironing all the clothes until 4 in the morning, and end up with black eyes because of the tiredness and lack of sleep?

Even when I was in UK, I don't have much enthusiasm to celebrate it. Nothing good comes out of it. Quarreling over things, misunderstood, etc; how can I feel that it is a celebration of joy? Thankful for what? Hate?

But today, I realised. Without the ones we love, or without having anyone to love, we cannot feel happy, the real happiness. Because our life is empty.

Today, I have my family, that now I love them so much, I just wish I can have this feeling years before, so I can be thankful for what I got. All these years of giving up, despair, losing hope for life; it is all because I feel my life is empty.

And I would like to say, I love you all; Mak, Abah, Angah, Bear, Dekli, Zakwan, Kecik. Because you all bear with me, these past 10 years, when I left you all, forget you all, blamed for my failure, made you all worried and cried and lots of pain I put you all through.

Today, I feel that I am a part of our family. And please let it be, forever.

Menanti BEAR Pulang

To those who don't know, Bear is a nickname I gave to my sister. Hehe... another nickname present in this house is Kecik, which I call my smallest sister with, and Kiah or Zakiah (Anas 999), which refer to the same person, but used by Bear. Okay, Kiah or Zakiah might be a common name, but her actual name is Nadhirah. I have no idea why she called her Zakiah.

So, Eid is coming, PBS is done, assignments waiting waving frantically for me to sit and do but I am so busy apart from headache which attacks me almost everyday. Well, as Bear is going home today, I might have a chance or two to do AT LEAST the 'theoretical knowledge' for the practical report. And, the PUPPET!! What am I suppose to do? Make a story and just do a simple puppet with socks? Well, that seems a good idea.

Why they give us lots of work for a week of holiday? It is just a week of holiday; no one will have a chance to do work a week before Eid. I'm not super human. And PBS week is not a holiday.

What to do. Work is work. It will never end. Until death.

So, starting end of last week I made some cookies. And just finished one this morning. And I successfully tidied up this room (which may be 'berserabut semula' after this as I brought up the printer and such). Imagine a room two third of the hostel room (in Afzan), shared by three person, and another room with the same width now is shared by....let me see...3 - 5 LARGE GUY; you'll never find a 'warmer place' on Earth full with love and hugs. Hahahahahahaha.... The rooms are never tidy, and I always give up doing so. What's the point when you don't even have enough space to sit let alone to put the stuffs you got.

Not that I blame my parents for the small house. Just... keep the things to the minimum (say that to yourself dude!!). Well, good thing that 3 of us live outside and come back just during holiday or weekend.

Mak is cleaning the lower floor right now. There are rats living on the ceiling. And one died recently. One, I met a maggot under on the long chair under the stairs where the rat rot. It was fat!! Well, you don't need to say about the smell. A living stack of cells are rotting. What else can you say?

Actually, in my opinion, poison is better to kill rather than using traps. It is more effective. When I was in UK, I lived beside a box where water and gas pipe are in there. And rats (in my case mice) usually use pipes routes to go around the house. The box was just beside the bed and I made it as a table to put my alarm clock and bedroom lamp. And I always see tiny tails poking out of the box, the sounds they made etc. A guy from the pest control put some packets of poison paste through each holes in there, and the problem solved. At least in my room.

But most people doesn't like using poison. That is just because the rats can die anywhere, at unreachable places and you can't throw the body out of the house. And when that happen, you just have to bear the unbearable smell and maggots coming out of nowhere. Well, so far I am okay with that. But not my mum.

So, that's about rats. What else eh?

Talking about Bear. Angah will fetch her today, with Dekli and Hafiz. They'll go to KL, go to Damansara to get her, then 'awek Angah', go shopping, and return home. Oh, Angah-wife-to-be is from Raub, lived about half an hour from here. One thing, each day always in news, stories about accident. It is really common in Malaysia. Not going to say much, but I think it is rare to find one in UK. There might be accidents there, but not so easy to find one even during festive time. Can I say that our people is lack of carefulness? Or maybe rude? Or maybe think that a life means nothing you can make a new one anytime you want (that might be a reason why people kill babies nowaday)?

Please, I hope everything will be alright. I don't want to lose anybody, anyone wouldn't want to. People out there, drive carefully. If you badly want to die, just die by yourself. Don't take others with you. They have family, they are needed by their family. If you want to go, just go. (Well, sounds like I'm talking about myself here).

So far, Eid Mubarak everyone. Be happy during the day. Praise HIM a lot, because He is the only one who deserves all the praising. I didn't reach my Ramadhan target, unfortunately. I call that, a feeling of difficulties of going to mosque. It is out of laziness. It is different.

Anyway, EID MUBARAK!!