Last Week Of The Holiday

I'm confused, should I be happy or sad about that. Well, I really love staying at home. But staying at home without having a job to do, that's boring. So, I am excited to have something to do ie new semester but leaving home? Not so great, but still am excited. So, I really wish I will get married at the final year of my degree so I can stay at home (well, husband's home is yours too right?) and have some other commitment to do other than as a wife. Fuhh... sounds cool! Even I'm kind of hate it, I have to admit my way now is somehow a bit like an adult even if I'm not really fully 'transformed' into one.

Mak just now said something about my age, and when I heard that, I told her that I feel old when she spoke out the numbers. Oh, well. One might never think I'm that old. Don't worry. You are still young.

Anyway, Mak and Abah are going to Senawang (ke Seremban eh?) this Saturday for my cousin's engagement. My cousin's father asked Abah to be his spokesman for the engagement. At first, they want my parents to go with their car. But then Mak complained that she will not be comfortable to sit for hours 'politely' in the car, so she urged Abah to go with their own car. And hey, Kecik and me is going too! And I heard that Pak Jang wants to go too, and Pak Ngah, and I bet Mok Cik wants to go too (who wants to be left out?). I don't know. Having a big family is sure a nice thing.

And the most reason I want to go is because Mak said she wants to go to Nilai and of course I wont let go the opportunity to go shopping. Yes, shopping is the reason. Yay!!

And guess what, I'm reading!! I attempted to read this book several times. And it never succeeded. The title is Muqaddimah by Ibn Khaldun, translated one though, and I'm sure most of us know this book because it was mentioned when we learnt about the definition of civilization in History subject in Form 4. So, that is the very book I am trying to read. Wish me luck.

I just realized what I did this holiday. I am having my usual weird schedule. I sleep at 7 in the morning, I woke up around 3 pm, and stay awake until 7 am the next day. I made very small amount of bracelet, I ate, downloading songs, watch tv (especially Oprah and Top Chef), and sewing.

I almost finish sewing my baju kurung for the coming Eid, repairing over-sized baju kurung Mak and Mok Cik gave me (finished 3 still got 2 pairs to repair), and now am sewing Kecik's.

I browsed over some outfits, and was badly want to sew them. Pretty sad I am not that skillful. Someday, I might be able to. Practice makes perfect kan?

So it is Wednesday morning already. Good morning!

Aku Telah Hilang

Sibuk buat aku lupa segalanya. Satu masa bila mula 'slipped', dah hilang pedoman, hilang aturan, hilang entah apa lagilah. Dan sekarang, nak gapai semula apa yang sepatutnya, dah jadi tak bersemangat, tak berkeinginan, tak berperasaan. Semuanya sekarang lebih banyak mengikut 'nafsu binatang' iaitu keperluan makan dan tidur saja. Yang lainnya, entah......

Jadilah hidup macam tak bertujuan. Bangun pagi, terkejar-kejar mandi dan gosok baju. Balik sekolah pula, sambung tidur pagi tadi. Jadi, apa yang aku dapat?

Nothing!

And I was thinking, is this what will happen bila dah mula kerja nanti?

But wait! Maybe sebab aku duduk rumah Mak. It's not just me. Even Bear yang super rajin tu pun jadi malas bila di rumah. Okay, best betul alasan ni.

Spending A Night At Rumah Wan

Wan demam. Jadi Mak ajak tidur sini, nak jaga Wan. Jadi, aku beranikan diri untuk tidur di sini. So far...okaylah.

This morning, Abang and his family is going to Tapah, meminang, untuk Lanun. That's his nephew's nickname at school. Rasanya tak ramai yang tahu nama betul Lanun tu. I don't, even being told lots of times, sebab nama Lanun tu dah lekat dalam kepala. Never thought that that Lanun is going to be my nephew-in-law. Ahhhhhhh...... kelakar pula rasa.

Semoga mereka selamat dalam perjalanan. Itu baru nak pergi meminang, bertunang. Nanti kahwin nanti kena pergi lagi. Jauh woooo...

Anyway, malam tadi tidaklah menyenangkan. Walau tak ada cerita mimpi yang menyeramkan seperti malam sebelumnya, tapi terjaga juga beberapa kali malam tadi. Kurang seronok terjaga tengah-tengah malam gelap dan tak nampak apa yang ada disekeliling. Kenapalah orang boleh tidur lena dalam gelap. Aku tak boleh langsung nak tenang tidur dalam gelap.

Oh, last night memang stress. Mimpinya. Makhluknya tak ubah macam makhluk yang merasuk orang di Anggerik pada hujung tahun lepas. Memang menggeletar jugalah masa tersedar tu. Thanks to my phone sebab berbunyi dan bergetar yang mengejutkan aku. Simptomnya sama macam orang kena tindih; tak boleh nak bergerak langsung dan mengharapkan orang dikeliling untuk gerakkan.

Dan pagi-pagi lagi budak-budak ni dah bising. Tapi bagus juga, senang nak jaga.

Seronok pagi-pagi di kampung ni. Budak of course ramai, sejuk dia memang superb! Kalaulah boleh duduk sini. Cuma malam sajalah yang tak seronok. Macam-macam binatang boleh ada.

Tapi hari ni balik rumah dahlah. Homework tak siap lagi, tak ada mood nak buat. Dan hari ni dah Khamis. Cuti dah nak habis. Kurang seronok.....

Risaukan Perkara Remeh-Remeh

Really, I appreciate all the times I am at home. Strengthening bond with my family members this time is the best since ten to 15 years back. Benarlah, manusia semakin dewasa, semakin matang. Yesterday, I was telling Kecik the stories about me, Mak, Angah, Dekli; years before. How were we used to be. And I realised, that I was very foolish. All the things that I did, the rebellions, arguments etc; they were childish things. Well, some arguments have good reasons, but all of us have change. And I think, I am having my best moments with them.

And one thing that made me realised, is when I observed Zakwan. He's going to secondary school, he thinks he is big enough now, getting angry at nonsense things, likes ordering people, etc. I think, I was like him. And when I see myself inside somebody else, I feel ashamed, I feel stupid, I feel that how wrong I was, and I regret it.

Sehari Dua Yang Rasa Macam Nak Mengamuk

Aku, berjaya menghempaskan telefon bimbit ke dinding. Marah. Sebabnya remeh. Namun, syukur telefon tidak cedera parah. Cuma tidak dapat membaca kad memori, juga ada bahagian yang tertanggal dan sedikit patah di bahagian kekunci telefon.

Not a good thing to do. Marah-marah, terlalu emosi, dan tidak dapat mengawal amarah. But, I think that is better daripada killing. Hampir-hampir saja.

Life is not good this week. Keadaan ekonomi meruncing sungguh.

AstaghfiruLlahal'azim.

Sudoku Dude!!

This is maybe the third or second time I do this thing. I'm not really into puzzles, and I don't really like playing games which need me to make strategies. But for the first time, yeay!! I managed to do the sudoku (the easy one of course), with Kecik. Hoho.. an achievement!!

So, now the kids are busy in front of the monitor, doing the sudoku. I'm not going to touch it again, but I want to do something else that really use numbers.

Where's my calculator eh?

Sudah Masuk Disember

Masa cuti, dua minggu, rasa macam sekejap saja berlalu. What did I do these two weeks? Jogging, bersukan, menjahit, catching up with the three CSIs' series and House and The Biggest Loser Asia, sleep my heart out. And as usual, my actual plan for the holiday hanya berusik sikit saja. First is to complete my MQA filesssssss, and reading. I want, at least to finish reading the Muqaddimah by Ibn Khaldun, translated one of course. But I think the files completing is the most important one and I need to read the related books first to make the notes and the ISLs etc. It is like learning all of that again. It sucks actually. Who likes learning at the age of mine?

Talking about age, I am kind of tired of answering my grandma's questions of how old I am now and when will I get married. And once, she told me that I am old. I mean, not that I'm going to be already menopause at my wedding day. I'm not really that old yet.

And it is now December. And it will be 2011 in a month time. Masa berlalu sangat cepat kan? And I will be on my third semester. Sometimes I do miss the semesters in Cardiff Uni, masa memang tak sedar sedang berlalu, about 3 - 4 months for a semester? And now, even if the semesters are half longer, the work is triple, maybe four. It is tougher taking a degree in Malaysia, where little and sometimes nonsense things count. I hate it, but I love being here.

And now it is about a month before the break ends. And I need to work fast.

Now.

Monday Morning (^_^)

Well, selalunya aku tak rasa gembira apabila hadirnya hari Isnin, sebab malas nak ke kelas. But then, bila sedang cuti panjang macam ni, everyday is a bless, unless hari terakhir cutilah. So, today hidung ni masih berair dan sedikit tersumbat. Aku pun tak pergi jogging sebab kepala masih lagi berat sikit. But I kill the time dengan menjahit. Aku ada banyak baju yang asalnya milik orang, dan saiznya lebih besar daripada besar, so I end up repairing the bajus supaya lebih selesa untuk dipakai.

And Kecik bangun awal hari ni, jadi aku taklah kebosanan sangat. Tak seronoklah kalau tak ada kawan untuk berborak. Encik Abang sudah berminggu-mingguan sibuk dan tak ada masa. Well, dia kerja kuat pun bukan untuk orang lain juga. Kasihan juga. Sekarang ni, kos untuk buat kenduri kahwin terlalu besar. I was like, going crazy thinking about money. Even my parents sekarang pun struggling sebab Zakwan nak masuk sekolah menengah dan akan duduk asrama. Bear pun, even dapat PTPTN, kena bagi duit poket sebab elaun PTPTN sangat tak cukup, lagi-lagi dia duduk di tempat yang agak besar juga kos hidupnya. Like me, I have my own biasiswa, Angah dah kerja dan Dekli memotong getah sekarang ni. Jadi, dapatlah juga kurangkan beban Mak Abah.

In Bed For Hours

I was not well this morning, got terrible headache, and decided not to help my parents at someone's walimah. I can see Mak was tired making the cendol, but I can't help it, I might easily faint at that moment. But, I didn't tell them whenever I am sick, don't want to worry them much. I am always sick, but better to keep it to myself than making such racket.

So, I was in bed for about half a day, and still don't get out of it now. Everybody is downstairs and watching tv.
I used to be like this before. Not joining them, socializing with my own family members. I tend to keep myself in my room, pretending I wasn't at home. But things change now. Even if I hate watching the drama they are watching (which mostly are Indonesian sinetron), but I still let myself amongst them, and do my own work, which currently is sewing.

Weekend

Weekend melepak rumah sajalah. Seronok duduk rumah ni sebenarnya. Because I don't have to do much things. As I said, melepak sajalah. Usually Mak yang buat semua kerja, and if Bear is here, she'll do the work. Pemalas itu pasti. If anybody ever see my room, it is messy almost all the time. Usually, I don't have much time to do the cleaning. And if I'm not busy, I'm too lazy to get up.

Arguing about the workloads. Seriously, I have 4 - 5 times workloads more than I used to have when I was in Cardiff. There was only ONE assignment per semester, and it was just rewriting the lab report that we did before. And in here, about 5 - 10 assignments per semester.

Rasa macam dah boleh adjust sikit dengan hectic life in here. Bolehlah....

Bilik Bersepah

Bilik akulah. Well, as long as Bear is not here, ini jadi bilik aku. Dia pantang tengok bersepah sikit. Memang macam makcik.

Anyway, bukanlah nak kata aku suka menyepahkan barang. Just, I got too many things compared to space given. Jadi, penuh dan bersepahlah walaupun tak berniat pun.

So, I already done a bit work. Itu pun dah cukuplah daripada tak ada apa-apa langsung. Dan yang seronoknya, ada radio peneman buat kerja. Hehe...... me and radio memang tak dapat nak dipisahkan. Kalau tak berbunyi pun takpe, asalkan ada. Tapi kalau berbunyi lagi baik kan? Hehe.........................

And I made new and smaller boxes for all my stuffs (baru siap 3 dan perlukan wrappers). And harapnya by the end of this week, siaplah kemas (at least before Bear balik untuk raya).

What is my routine at home?

Bangun, buat kerja ikut suka hati nak buat apa nak tidur pun boleh dan melepak whateverlah asalkan hidup, 6.30 pergi bazar, berbuka dan kemas barang berniaga dan balik, buatlah kerja ikut suka hati nak buat apa nak tidur pun boleh dan melepak whateverlah asalkan hidup.

'buatlah kerja ikut suka hati nak buat apa nak tidur pun boleh dan melepak whateverlah asalkan hidup' tu, taklah aku totally just buang masa. Space yang ada tu, buat semua homework, kemas bilik (yang tak pernah siap kemas; eh, aku dah kemas almari solek malam tadi yeay!!!), buat kuih raya, kemas rumah (macamlah pernah buat selama ni kerja Mak and Bear sebab mereka sajalah yang rajin bab mengemas rumah ni), buat baju raya (gosh!! banyak lagi tak siap!!) dan apa-apa yang berkaitan.

But I'm relaxing at home.

Sementara masih bujanglah katakan.

Oh ye, my brother nak kahwin next year. Bergegar dunia bila aku tahu. Kemudian srotttt... srotttt... sambil bercerita dengan Abang. Kemudian Mak kata, tak apalah, kalau tak cukup nanti Mak tambahkan. Kemudian aku (^_^) balik.

Oh God, adik aku kahwin dulu. Tak apalah. Aku timang anak sedara dulu sebelum timang anak sendiri.

Okay, tak nak cakap pasal anak. Sangat sensitif.

Mari buat kuih raya. Today I nak buat biskut sarang semut dan biskut bunga cina. Hehe.....

Esok pergi sekolah.