Friday, 24 March 2017

Filetting My Fish

It is not common in Malaysia to filet your fish. Malaysians usually cook their fish wholly for small and average sized fish like sardines, or in large chunks together with the bones and heads like sea basses. Since I have a toddler, I found out it is easier to filet my fish to avoid her choking from the small fish bones. It is a very tedious job, as if I don't have anything else to do, but for the love of that fish lover lass, I filet the fish most of the time.

So, one day I decided to just fried some average sized mackerels for lunch. And as it was almost 1 o'clock, I thought maybe I'll just filet one fish for my daughter and fry the rest wholly. That'll save looooooooooottttttss of time and perhaps lunch will be ready by the time my husband come home from his work.

And lunch was served, yada yada and I put the filetted fish onto my daughter's plate. She munched a bit, put it back onto her plate, and reached for the wholly-fried fish and finished one. I was like, 'I spent my time and energy to filet that ONE fish for you, and this what you do to me?' And now I realised pain I did to my mom by not eating her cooking for several times because of the time rush, and a few times because she cooked food I don't eat (that can cause me ill). Sorry Mak...and not sorry.

Moral of the story, cook the same food; your food and your kid's food or you'll fall into frustration as I did. And always make a sambal to the side to spice up the food without having to cook twice.

This is one of the dilemmas of a mother with a toddler.

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

You Are What You Wear?

This entry is about a small thing that keeps bothering me for some time. It's about outfit. It is very tedious, yes. But sometimes I do think a lot about meaningless things that at times I do missed out the bigger picture, in this case, who do I really want to impress by wearing such outfit?

So, it all began about 10 years ago, when I don't really mind what clothes I need to wear. I was a simple girl. A pair of jeans and a t-shirt will do, in almost any occasion. I wore those everyday, even at home. If I need to go out, I just slipped a tudung, usually black, and at times just skipped that. So, it was easy back then.

After some years, I realised I need to change. As a Muslim woman, you have a dress code that you have to obliged. It is a must. Then, the dilemma began. Wearing long sleeve t-shirt was somewhat uncomfortable that I had constant urge to fold the sleeves up to the middle of my arms. And making sure the length of the t-shirt is wayyyyyy below your bottom, is also a problem to me. It was not cool, not trendy. And most of the t-shirts have cute pattern and all, and I was against cute outfit as I dressed as a rock and metal girl previously.

The main question is, why did I do this in the first place? At times, I did had this feeling of holier-than-thou. Yeah, I dressed to impress others. And that was why I reverted to my old self, actually worst than before.

So, after several ups and downs in life, I looked back and I found out I still not dress as I prefer. It was more to favour others rather than Allah.

No, I'm not going to wear niqab or big bulky black jubah. Not my way. I don't mind anyone who wear those. It's their choice. I even ditched my 'tudung labuh' as I realised I wore those to impress other people. I will just wear anything as long as it agrees the dress code. And most of the time, I'm happy with it.