Thursday 25 February 2010

Gud Evening

Just several hours before going back home. Three days holiday, should not be wasted, right? So, I checked my TITAS assignment just now, and noticed that the due date was on 22nd, which was last Monday.

So, three days for the assignment.

Next week, will have experiment to do, plus preparation for PKK presentation which is about cognitive theories from Piaget, Vygotsky and Choamsky, then several tutorials that needed to be done before the week after.

I feel that less work is given in this week. Hope will continue until the mid term holiday, because after that, there are lots of assignments, reports and other stuffs to submit.

So, good night everyone. And to those who will go home tomorrow, have a safe journey home and back.

Wednesday 24 February 2010

Mengantuk Siri II

Mengantuk, rasa macam tak cukup tidur.

So, last night got discussion. Usrah actually. So, we did the muqaddimah for Fi Zilal Al-Quran. Something that knocked my mind, is about what my naqibah said.

What is the purpose of Al-Quran?

Ever thought of, what is the purpose of us practising Islam? Why we read the Quran?

As a Muslim, we learn about Islam and practise them; the laws, in this aspect. Does we ever think that building the 'fikrah' as a Muslim is more important rather than just practising? And, when we pray for example, do we really feel what we did?

This is my personal opinion. We, ourselves learnt about Islam since we were small until now. We even had subject of Islamic Study (Pendidikan Islam) in school. But, to what extend do we feel that we are Muslim? Do we really practising Islam in all aspect of our life, or just it is for rituals like prayer, fast, hajj, marry etc.

We have seen people with religious background, studied in Islamic School, but turned out to be no different with non-muslims. Not to be prejudice to them, but please think. Knowledge alone is not enough.

Tuesday 23 February 2010

2.56 In The Morning

It is late. I know. I don't feel okay, my whole body hurts. Angin.

One improvement of me-self, I managed to tidy up my stuffs. Tengoklah sampai bila boleh kemas. Rasanya sempatlah sampai pagi esok. Ahh, bukan orang bujanglah namanya kalau bilik kemas. Kata rokers. Hehe..

One good news for me, my shipping boxes and luggage already arrived this night. I am soooooooo happy!! Jadi, Khamis ni balik rumah, buka kotak, kemas apa yang patut, angkut apa yang patut ke sini. Abang kata ' nanti balik dari cuti kena ambil (awok) dengan lori ek?' Well, last time, seat belakang penuh dengan barang aku sahaja.

Right, what to write eh?

This night, when I was ironing my clothes, I was thinking what Ye had said. She told me about appendix. Recently I got serious pain at my stomach, and I nearly fainted because of the pain. And she told me, when the appendix is at the serious stage, we might die when the 'pouch' burst. I don't have appendix (insyaAllah), but when she said the word 'die', I realised that I am now too far from God. I feel less fear, the feeling is the same as what I felt some years ago.

Reminders have been told, directly or not, but still, it seems there's no change. Orang kata, iman semakin nipis.

Kita di tahap yang bahaya bila kita rasa biasa dengan kemurkaan Allah, kita kurang rasa takut kepada Allah, kepada azab Allah. Tanda hati ada masalah.

I know the reason. But there are so much buts.

3.21 AM.

Selamat tidur. I am worry about me-self, inside out.

Monday 22 February 2010

Anything Can Happen

I heard a story about someone that I know, who lost her memory due to her minor accident at home. So, now she can't even remember her own name. Sad, eh?

Saturday 20 February 2010

How Normal Is Normal?

Just something to think. Just imagine, if we grown up in an Indian culture for example, it is normal for us to talk with our tongue twisting, love curry, got oily smell etc (no offence please). Same as if we grown up as a Chinese, an English, an Indonesian, etc.

People have that 'normal' phrase to portray what is the usual deed and opinion that are in our life. But how normal is normal, actually?

What holds us all together?

How is that Muslims all around the world with totally different and sometimes weird culture can accept each others as brothers and sisters?

And how come Malaysians with different religions and culture live together, even there are lots of non-satisfactory mumblings toward each other?

Isn't it fascinating?

As long as the destiny is the same, we can tolerate to each other, thus fulfilling each other's need.

An advice to me-self not to think much of the differences but rather work together or at least tolerate so that I can get what I want so as others.

Human being is such a unique creature Allah created.

Come, let us make ourselves more unique. (^_^)

Esok Nak Balik Dah??

No.... tak nak balik sana dah. Macam.... tersiksa, mungkin.

Aci dak kalau nak kerja dah dan tak nak belajar?

P/S : Menyiapkan kerja sekolah yang bertimbun.

Writing In Full

Got very annoyed with some people writing with fancy spelling, and short form, so much.

Maybe I am TOO OLD to understand how to read those kind of words.

Lalalalalalalalala~~~~

Emm...

Rasa sihat sikit, dan perut masih sakit tapi manageable lagi. So, tak ke hospital.

Sebab utama tak nak ke hospital, nanti kelas, byk kerja, melibatkan orang lain, susah.

Sebab kedua, nak shopping!!!

Hehe, sebab tak sakit sangat jadi bolehlah nak merewang.

Hehe..... (^_^)

Friday 19 February 2010

Aku Tak Sihat

Jam berapa entah, tengah hari barangkali, tersedar dari tidur kerana kesakitan yang amat sangat.

1. Perut kejang yang amat sangat
2. Cirit birit yang hanya air
3. Muntah

Tadi siang dah ke hospital. Keracunan makanan. Kena inject, kemudian makan ubat dah.

Kalau sampai esok masih sakit, kemungkinan aku masuk wad.

Sekian pemberitahuan daripada aku.

P/S : Kerja sekolah banyak lagi tak siap.

Thursday 18 February 2010

It Is Supposed To Be Holiday, Isn't It?

I feel tired, really. I need space.

It is supposed to be holiday. But I'm stuck at home.

I need a break.

Wednesday 17 February 2010

Not So Productive Life

I did my FPM notes on the first topic in the syllabus, and a little on Science, and I didn't do the Science Pedagogy notes because I left the syllabus at the hostel. Well, that note typing is including studying since I cannot really sit down and read just like that.

And, I sleep a lot.

And, I watch TV quiet a lot today. CSIs, ER, Oprah, Chef At Home, cartoons.

And, watching Mak packing the jewellery to be sold. The fake ones, but really look like real gold. And I got one bracelet, green colour since I got many green baju kurung. And a kain batik to wear with baju kebarung given by Mokcik.

Nak tido lagi......

Tuesday 16 February 2010

Rindu Cardiff

Mengada tak?

Bak kata Abang, usah dikenang tempat nan jauh.

Rasa sangat rindu kawan-kawan, rindu rumah, rindu Queen Street, St David Street dan Primark, kedai Whittard yang dah pun tutup, ASDA, car boot sale, rindu kenangan lama dengan semua orang, baik atau tidak kenangan itu. Juga rindu akaun Natwest, semestinya!!

I love you all.

Also my ex-bicycle, my ex-guitar, my-ex radio, my ex-winter coat, almari besar (taklah besar sangat tapi sekarang macam perlukan 2nd wardrobe dalam bilik as I once needed a rail to hang my clothes), and my ex-katil, dapur, mesin basuh yang gedegang gedegang bila tengah spin, and ex-heater (memang tak perlu la sekarang, just rindu), and the blue sofabed (anyone nak tolong bawak balik tak nanti since tak ada orang nak guna pun), and kerusi study, pasu, tikus yang selalu nyet nyet nyet tepi katil aku, and..... semuanya.

Also my ex-tutor Prof Mauskopf, Dr Richardson, and Elly (rasanya dia sedar tak aku dah tak ada di situ?), and Halima of course, and Alex, and Naomi etc. Entahlah, even benda yang sebelum ni tak significant pun dalam hidup aku, boleh menggamit kerinduan bila dikenang-kenang.

Teringat zaman mengejar train sampai semput dibantu Ijun untuk tarik beg aku sepanjang Senghennydd ke train station for PMS di Loughborough dulu. Teringat Kak Sue cerita dia kena marah dengan orang yang jaga kat situ sebab tak tutup pintu train yang menyebabkan train lewat 3 saat. Hehe..

And when we went to Birmingham for daurahs, and Manchester, and even Scotland (kesian sangat pada Wina sebab kena drive sangat lama dan tak ada sesiapa yang boleh drive untuk ganti dia). And when we went to Spain. Aku salah beli tiket ke Alhambra, beli masa tengah serabut sebab tak faham plan perjalanan dan tengok orang lain semua dah siap buat persediaan.

And when I was in my worst phase of life. Kawan-kawan still treat me nicely even I tried to run away from them. Love is strange, isn't it?

They'll finish their degree tak lama lagi. So, good luck for them. Nanti diaorang akan balik juga ke sini. For the first few months, or years, perasaan rindu tu pasti ada. Tapi lama kelamaan hanya tinggal kenangan, setelah kita sibuk dengan dunia dan tanggungjawab kita, nanti.

Monday 15 February 2010

Today Is 'Munday'

So, yesterday went to Rumah Wan. Mak Njang and the whole family already moved in there, so there are lots of their things. Berserabut!!

And met Pak Mbong's new baby, named Muhammad Rashdan. Muka garang, just like his dad. Hehe..

Today, they are going to make dodol. I stay at home, cirit birit. Plus, want to study after one day break.

Saturday 13 February 2010

Srooootttttt...

Saya seleseme.

Batuk pun ada.

Nangis pun ada. Hehe.. penangan tak dapat beli radio semalam. Lepas tu Abang menghilang di tengah orang ramai. Kena marah, sebab aku tak dengar nasihat dia. Hehe..

Okay, sepanjang hari mengadap buku. Sangat penat. Esok nak berpoya-poya masih tak dapat, sebab esok cuti dan banyak kedai tutup.

Aku fikir dalam-dalam (sebab tergoda dengan barang-barang dalam katalog Mak, dan Mak macam tak kisah kalau aku nak beli pun; siap ofer 'ambillah gelang tu kalau nak'), kena buat semula budget ni.

Bil broadband dah sampai, untuk bulan ni kena bayar RM91.15. Kena buat budget, internet sebulan RM100, makan lagi. Dan harapnya bulan depan kuranglah aku keluar bandar, kalau tak asyik makan saja.

Memang cukup elaun yang diberi. Tapi kena menyimpan kan.....

Friday 12 February 2010

Anggerik Menyepi

Orang ramai dah balik. Mereka yang balik hari ni, pakat ramai-ramai balik awal. Yang tinggal hanya beberapa orang yang balik esok. Aku balik lambat juga, petang karang.

So, that's it.

Hehe.. tulis entri semata-mata nak beritahu tu saja. Tah pape.

JPP

Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Pelajar. noktah.

Nasrul menang, dalam Majlis Tertinggi.

Zairul menang, dalam exco.

Ija pun menang, dalam exco.

Secara amnya agak gembira melihat barisan kali ini. Ah, orang baru nak berkata banyak pula?

Hope there will be changes, positive ones, for the sake of the students in here.

Oh, memandangkan aku tak pergi mengundi semalam (tidur; pengumuman disiarkan pada jam 3 petang dan dikehendaki untuk ke dewan pada jam 3, what the...?), aku terpaksa menghadirkan diri bertemu dengan HEP untuk soal jawab.

Emmmppphhhh....

So, sekarang sedang bersenang lenang. Malas rasanya nak mengemas. Sekali tengok barang, macam banyak sangat saja yang nak dibawa pulang. Well, alang-alang naik kereta baik sumbat apa yang boleh. Guna atau tidak nanti, itu bukan persoalannya. Kalau tak ada nanti, mula terbantut kerja. Tak begitu?

Makanya tadi dapat lagi satu kerja kursus untuk dibuat. Jangan haraplah nak tidur memanjang balik nanti.

Oh, tak beritahu lagi Abah nak balik jam berapa. Hehe..

Waiting; minggu selepas cuti yang mencabar dan akan menguji mental dan fizikal. Harap dapat nak sediakan diri sebelum tiba waktu itu.

Cerita Tentang Wahabi

Entahlah. Senyap sahaja. Fitnah berleluasa.

Tak elok melabelkan orang sebegitu andai tak benar memahami.

Kita baca, cari ilmu dulu ye.

Thursday 11 February 2010

Nervous For Tomorrow

Will bring back printer, that thick file, a bundle of A4 papers, reference book(S), laptop of course, some clothes etc.

As I said to Abang just now, 'Actually, I don't feel like to ask you. I can carry the printer on my right, bags on my left, laptop on my back, menapak to the bus stand in front of the maktab, then take a bus to Lipis, then go home by bus.'

Then he said, 'Ye, Abang hantar. Support duit minyak ye.'

Taktik berjaya!!

Almost each time, the week before the holiday, I feel so anxious, nervous, worry, happy, low motivation to go to class, excited, blur, and at the last day before the holiday, I don't feel like going home.

So, what is the plan for tomorrow?

First, go to class. Got class just for the first session, then assembly. After that, go back to hostel, eat lunch, packing, waiting, loading the things into the car, go to Lipis and got me-self an earphone and coloured papers and cellophane tape, then go straight home.

At night, maybe do nothing instead of the plan to study and make notes and print the notes and put in the thick file. But, as Bear surely at home, I might not even touch the laptop. Well, might be, because Hafiz (my cousin) is staying at my home right now, and I don't want to bother me-self wear properly at all time so I might be in the room for the whole week.

THAT is the plan, but I never follow the plan. Lack of discipline, actually.

But, to go back to maktab, kena hantar lagi (^_^). Because, I still got the printer and bag and bag and laptop and books AND I want to buy a new radio to play my cassettes and cds. Oh, also a small book shelf. And more clothes.

Macam nak pindah betul. Oh ye, nanti barang shipping mungkin sampai dalam hujung bulan ni. Yeahhhhh!!!!

Bilik ni bersepah sangat dah. Bakal bersepah lagi nanti. Sangat hepi dengan bilik yang bersepah. Hehehe...

Weekend Is Coming

Today started slowly, got time for everything. Also, no work to do, more time to rest myself. Since I got fever, I sleep a lot.

Weekend is coming, and I feel relieved.

Wednesday 10 February 2010

New Layout

Blogger now has pages!!! So I added one. And will added another one, for a new, more serious but still funny MinahRok series. I already wrote an introduction and half of chapter 1, but I considered to rewrite the series, by changing the introduction and situation.

I already made a header for the series blog, but since I can add page in here, no need for me to post the series in a separate blog.



I wrote an entry yesterday, but unfortunately blogger doesn't save it automatically. A bit disappoint actually. But, I don't think I need to be upset, because I still have lots of things to write in here. (^_^)

So, Chinese New Year is coming. Meaning, a week of holiday!! Not yeay, but aisehhhh.. because got a tutorial and INTEL work and research to do.

Oh, I feel a bit better today. My throat still sore.

Tuesday 9 February 2010

Kebun

Dah berkali aku tak turun kebun. Memang hampir setiap hari sibuk dan ada hal, sama ada hal peribadi, mahupun hal yang lain.

Mesti diaorang marah sangat pada aku.

Import Blog

langsirkalerbiru.blogspot.com

Blog ni dah lama tak buka. Hari ini aku buat inisiatif untuk import ke umarhamzah.blogspot.com.

-demam-

Change Myself??

Always being thinking, I cannot do this because because my parents are like this, my teachers are like that, my friends are like this.

Blaming others.

I shouldn't make others as a reason not to do the best in life. I should adapt to that situation, and still working at the maximum.

Sometimes, I blame myself because at this age, I just realize the things that I've done. Feel like wanting to turn back time.

Monday 8 February 2010

I Want To Be Different

I am stressed out doing homework. Because I have different ideas and understanding in how I interpret questions and method of doing the work. I want to give the best that I can, and now I think I am handicapped with this problem.

Really, people tend not to accept ideas, and rather follow what is the usual thing that others do.

Complaining? Kind of, but need to remember, living in a community is not as simple as living by our own.

People are afraid of changes.

Now I am really stressed out.

I Need Water

It has been a week. Each time I need to go to the toilet, or taking bath, or to wash clothes, I need to go to the mosque. It is a problem somehow. Not because I feel forced to go to the mosque, but at times, there are emergency cases. As the mosque is about 200 metres from the hostel, and need to wear proper, there is possibility I might....ehemmmm.

Nak balik!!!!!

As I checked my homework, I have at least 5 to submit. 1 for tomorrow, and another 4 in Wednesday. Sangat tensen!!!!

Please, let Friday comes cepat-cepat.

Sunday 7 February 2010

Looking At The Surface

The external changes do have relation with what is inside.

Got sisters came visiting us this morning. Kak Zai and Kak Nik Aida. I already know Kak Nik Aida since PMS, she's Yan's friend.

So, today, we discussed about what is the point of doing and joining usrah. AND, the things that were discussed are about ISK. For me, ISK is one of the way to bring back people to Allah. Yes, there are lots of the thing that can be improved, so along the way, we MUST improve the lacks and maybe misunderstanding in certain part of the facts. Yet, people view on things differently, and we can do the best that we can.

So, Aishah and I will do some initiative in improving our usrah group, adjusting the syllabus given with ISK. Pity, my books still not arrived.

Bak kata Zack kepada Jijo dalam filem Rock, 'Jo, kita ada misi!'

Kita pun ada misi (^_^)

Satu Semester Simpan RM2000

Abah suggested untuk beli Kancil. Second hand boleh dapat dalam RM8000. Jadi, RM2000 x 4 semester = RM8000.

Happy me? Of course I am. Another 4 semester, simpan duit untuk kahwin. RM2000 x 4 semester = RM8000.

He said 'Nanti Abah bagi la belanja tiap bulan.'

Oleh kerana sekarang aku jadi sedikit selfish setelah agak rapat dengan keluarga, aku rela terima duitnya. Ngehhhhh :D

p/s : need to make budget first.

Friday 5 February 2010

Rahmat

Terkejut mendapat SMS daripada Abang, berbunyi, 'Rumah Kak Ngah terbakar. Ni nak pergilah ni.'

Kak Ngah ni emak kepada Eda, member aku sejak sekolah lagi.

Terus tukar baju, sarung tudung dan kasut. Minta Abang singgah ambilkan, katanya dah sampai Lipis dah. Jadi aku kuatkan hati, menapak sampai ke luar dan naik bas ke Lipis.

Mula-mula singgah di Taman Lipis, sebab Mak Abang dan Kak Imah ada di sana, rumah saudara mereka. Kemudian baru kami ke rumah Kak Ngah.

Masa aku sampai, Kak Ngah tengah disoal oleh penyiasat bomba. Jadi aku tahu jugalah serba sedikit yang terjadi.

Masa tu pagi, dalam jam 9. Pakteh (adik Eda) sedang tidur dalam bilik. Dia terjaga sebab rasa panas yang amat sangat. Terkejut melihat api besar di dapur, berlari dia panggil mak dia yang kerja dekat-dekat situ.

Sementara pemergian Pakteh, tong gas meletup. Bergegar rumah (cerita jiran sebelah rumah).

Aku ada lihat keadaan rumah. Dapur memang hangus. Bau plastik hangus memang kuat. Mesin basuh, pinggan mangkuk dan almari habis hangus. Tak merebak ke bahagian depan rumah dan jiran kerana tangki air cair dan air melimpah ke atas api. AlhamduliLlah. Dan setelah itu, bomba datang.

Masalah utamanya jentera bomba tak boleh nak masuk ke kawasan perumahan tu sebab jalan terlalu kecil. Tambahan lagi, pili bomba yang terdekat dalam 100 - 200 meter lebih dari situ. Agak jauh.

Jadi, sekarang mereka tinggal di rumah saudara buat sementara waktu. Pakaian memang hanya apa yang dipakai. Selebihnya ada yang terbakar, ada yang berdebu dan berminyak. Katil, tilam, pakaian yang lain basah sebab tangki melimpah + air dari bomba. Buku sekolah sempat diselamatkan sebakul sahaja.

Kebakaran berlaku dalam jam 9 pagi. Aku dapat berita dalam jam 3 petang. Eda pula balik kerja jam 5.30 petang. Memang menangis sangat dia tadi. Puas juga dipujuk abah dia.

Aku terfikir. Sekejap sangat harta yang kita kumpul boleh hilang. Benda-benda yang kita sayang, yang kita hargai. Mudah ke nak kata pada dia, 'sabarlah...', sedangkan kita tak sampai pada tahap perasaan dia semasa tu. All I did was keep quite and let them calm down. Takut kata-kata mencambahkan kemarahan.

That is one episode of life. Kita melihat, ada yang terkesan dihati, ada yang biasa saja pada kita. But we, ourselves, got our own episodes in life. And not all are happy. Someday, will be our turn. Blame the fate? God? We won't say something like that because we are not yet be tested.

Apakah manusia mengira bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan hanya dengan mengatakan, 'Kami telah beriman,' dan mereka tidak diuji?
Al-'Ankabut : Ayat 2


P/S : I got the photos, malangnya lupa tak ada card reader, tinggal kat rumah. Will be updated later, insyaAllah.

Minah Rok

I want to tell you a story about a young woman, who had lived her life alone,giving up her life, thinking that it is all over, and running away from her loved ones, yet keep it all in her heart, until she realized that life without God is nothing even if you look strong outside.

The thing is, I don't even write the story yet.

Keliru

I am in class, got lecture now. And, I don't think this lecturer is teaching based on what he supposed to teach. For me, it is okay to spread a new knowledge. But, telling something that is confusing, cannot be told to a group of students whose faith in religion is not really strong, even more than half is not practising fully plus are very young and not even exposed to the real world yet.

Tak fikir ke boleh mengganggu gugat akidah budak-budak ni?

I hate being in this class.

Thursday 4 February 2010

Mengantuk..

Semalam, kencing, berus gigi dan ambil wuduk sahaja. Itu guna air berkarat yang ditakung di pantri.

Hari ini, travel sejauh dua blok asrama, demi mendapatkan air, sekurang-kurangnya untuk kencing, berus gigi dan ambil wuduk.

Sekarang mengantuk. Dan letih.

Entah kenapa ada orang yang tak reti bahasa dan seperti tak suka nak dengar, asyik menyalahkan sahaja. Buat orang makin tak suka.

Tuesday 2 February 2010

Mari Up Gambar

Selalunya, Flickr sangat lembap. Hari ini, aku cuba guna basic upload. Cepat sangat pula upload.

Makanya, aku boleh nak up gambar banyak sikit sekarang ni.

(^_^)

Do visit my Flickr page, kutukan dan cadangan amat dihargai.

Dreaming About Having Babies

Day dreaming, actually. I've been dreaming of having children, since I was 19. Nope, early 18.

Is it fun to have children? Based on what I've seen before, most mothers in my family complain about their children, 'They are like this, they are like that, they don't know how to do this, they cannot being counted on this thing, etc'. But when you want to know whether you mom loves you or not, wait till you get sick, or in trouble, or when you rebel against your parents. At that time, they'll show and tell what they really feel.

So, as the conclusion, parents in my family tend not to show their love. Sebab tu budak-budak buat hal, nak perhatian.

The morale value is, be nice to your family members, especially your children. They are very sensitive. They have no one, except you. If you don't want to listen to what your children want, they'll find another person, usually of different sex. And, don't be surprise if one day your 15 years old daughter comes to you and tell you she's pregnant.

Me myself, sometimes afraid of thinking, how will my children grow up? Can I be a good mother, after all I do for them? Will they be happy with me?

In This Boring Class

Got only one class today. That is why. And as I am not talkative, but prefer to sit on my chair doing nothing, I feel a bit bored right now. Nak update blog pun macam tak ada idea.

Jadi aku minta tolong Eda untuk buat cop nama tu. Dia kata selalunya dalam seminggu baru siap. Just nice. Minggu depan keluar sendiri lepas kelas, naik bas. Jadi boleh pergi minta doktor copkan terus. Dan petang tu Abang dah balik kerja, boleh minta dia ambilkan aku.

Rasa macam sangat perlukan kenderaan saja di sini, memandangkan yang ada di sini hanya makanan. Aku ada fikir juga nak sebat kancil 2nd hand. Nak kena riki-riki harga. Takkan nak harapkan Abang sokmo. Dia pun sibuk, nak kerja, balik kerja nak rehat.

Tak boleh jadi terlalu depend on others.

Panasssss!!!

1. Kena repair borang perjanjian, sebab :

a) Doktor tak cop borang medical check-up
b) Pengesahan salinan fotostat bukan oleh kumpulan 41 (mana ada pengarah hospital nak buang masa sahkan salinan fotostat)
c) Tak ada nama saksi dalam cop

2. Aku tak tahu kena hantar bila. Tapi yang pasti kena secepat mungkin. Gua dah malas nak layan benda-benda macam ni.

3. Untuk 'tambah' keaslian cop tu, aku kena bikin cop nama sahaja untuk saksi (bapak sedara aku sendiri lagipun).

4. Kena jumpa doktor tu balik, kena cari orang lain untuk sahkan dokumen.

5. AKU NAK HANTAR LEPAS CUTI RAYA CINA!!!!

Rasa nak marah sangat. Nak marah sangat-sangat. Dah 3 kali aku bikin borang perjanjian, yang kali ni sangat menyusahkan. Padahal orang yang sama saja sahkan dokumen aku. Dokumen tu semuanya masih hantar ke tempat yang sama juga. Pejabat BPG tu juga. Tak pernah pun kena tolak.

Kesabaran aku sangat teruji dengan benda macam ni.

Monday 1 February 2010

Lab Report

Sains dan lab report memang tak dapat nak dipisahkan. Itu sebab aku tak minat sangat eksperimen ni. Kalau buat eksperimen tak payah buat report tak boleh ke?

I have 3 reports to do. First is about basic needs of plant. Second is food test and the last one is about cells.

I have to pass up first and third reports tomorrow. Got questions to answer too.

Still remember when I was doing experiments in Cardiff Uni, I never answer the questions given. The real reason is I didn't know what the heck is going on. Semua benda yang dibuat tak dapat nak di-register dalam kepala otak, thus make no sense.

Tapi, as I googled, I found out that the experiments that I am doing now basically done by elementary students in the US. Hehe...

Budak-budak boleh buat. Takkan aku nak mengeluh pula.

Bila nak belajar physics?? I hate this biology thing. Berserabut.

Next semester belajar kimia pula. Emmmpppphhhhh...

X Japan - Weekend (1989)

I listened to Blue Blood, one of X Japan albums. I don't really listen at first. But another round of listening, I do think this song is quite nice,a bit catchy and fast. Furthermore, I think that the vocalist's voice seems similar to J. Yantzen's.





So, here is the lyrics, and the translation is here.
I HEAR A KNOCK ON THE DOOR
hageshiku semaru
ushinai-kaketa ishiki no naka de
omae ga sasayaku
oitsumerareta kokoro tokasu
nibi iro no shouzou
kirikizamareta kioku wo utsushidasu

sakimidareta HATEFUL BLACK HEART
kokoro ni semaru
togisumasareta TRANSIENT FEELING
hitonami no naka
HISTERIC ni zawameku kaze ni
tomaranai namida wo
mune ni dakishime kodoku wo irodoru

* I'VE NOTHING TO LOSE
(LOVE ME TILL THE END)
EXCEPT YOUR HEART [x2]

tekubi wo nagareru chi wo omae no karada ni
karamitsukeru to isshun no uchi ni yomigaeru
kioku ni shikai wo
tozasare warainagara nigeteyuku omae no sugata wo
mitsumeru kizutsuita ore ga tatteru
WEEKEND

# WEEKEND, WEEKEND
WEEKEND, I'M AT MY WIT'S END

WEEKEND

[* repeat]

NO WAY OUT!

I HEAR A KNOCK ON THE DOOR
hageshiku semaru
ushinaikaketa ishiki no naka de
omae ga sasayaku
tsumetai yubisaki nobashi
kizuguchi ni kuchizuke
Akaku somatta kyouki wo dakishimeru

kagami wo mitsumenagara furueru karada ni
nagarehajimeta sukitooru chi wo aojiroi omae
no kokoroni
karamase genkaku ni kieteyuku saigo no namida wo
hiroi atsumete chi no umi ni madoromu
WEEKEND WEEKEND

WEEKEND, I STILL LOVE YOU
WEEKEND, BUT I CANNOT CARRY ON

tekubi wo nagareru chi wo omae no karada ni
karamitsukeru to isshun no uchi ni yomigaeru
kioku ni shikai wo
tozasare warainagara nigeteyuku omae no sugata wo
mitsumeru kizutsuita ore ga tatteru
WEEK END

# repeat [x6]

WEEKEND

It Is Heavy, Don't You Think So?

Several friends of mine, who have blogs too, tend to decorate their blogs with fancy wallpaper, music player, photos, etc. Even my broadband's speed is quite fast, I couldn't open much page at the same time when I open theirs.

So, I would like to advise anyone who read this, who have blogs, please limit your decorations.

Well, whatever it is, depends on you. This is just an advice, nothing much.

Headache

Sangat bagus, kepala sakit tapi relax saja layan lagu black metal. Rasa macam sangat mild pula musik ni. Kepala masih lagi berada di awangan, mungkin. Tipulah, takkan high sampai dua hari tak habis lagi. Bukannya drugs.

So today I woke up early despite of sleeping at 3.30 am. That's a success. Hehe..

Today, we have motivational talk in class. About choices in our life. It is common, and we often have the time, when we need to make choices. Let it be simple thing such as choosing our dish for lunch today, to the complex ones such as choosing what course should we take after we finish school.

For me, it is an old story, choosing course, I mean. I never get what I want in choosing what I want to do after school. I regretted lots and lots of times of the life that I am now. Because all I met were failures, heart broken and sad episodes. I even considered my life is over.

The thing that changes my belief is when I meet something that fancies me, my new me. IF I didn't go to UK, I will never be like I am now. I will never have a life which makes me more matured. I will never have these experiences in facing difficulties, and live in a harmony and problem-free life.

As I said earlier in my previous entry, life is not life without problem. Thus, I am happy the way I am now, because I've been through something not many people have been through in their life.

What I've learnt in this horrified years, is be thankful of what we are now. We might have mistakes which we can never repair, but the most unfortunate and stupid ones are the ones who still go on with old life and give up making good progress. It is never too late, even your sin is too big anyone can imagine.

It Is 2.42 In The Morning

I can't sleep, I don't want to sleep. I am thinking about lots of things, lots of people, which occurred in my life, who come to my lonely life, and cheered me up, even I do feel annoyed sometimes. (jenis tak minat sangat nak berkawan, biasalah...)

And today, I miss them all. I miss all the things that we've shared before. I miss my small little room at the back of the house. I miss the chaotic life I've been struggled to get out this past 4 years.

Now I am in a very different world, different people, different group of people that lives are totally different from mine, different age group, different way of thinking, and.... everything!!
I need to fit in.

And truly, I miss the guy that is always with me, stay with me, tortured me with his cold responses and ignorance each time I skipped my classes, prayers, meals or when I did few crazy things, the guy that almost lost his life when I told him I don't need him anymore because I already have someone else that is much special than him, the one that accepted me back when I realize I did a very big mistake that led me to my darkest time in my life, the one that I believe is the best for me even others think he is nothing but a fat greedy guy who chase over my money.

We did bad things in our life, and when we think again about it, we regretted and wish, if we can turn back time, we will never do the mistakes.

The memories are very painful.

Dear friends, I am sorry I made you feel bad.