Bilik akulah. Well, as long as Bear is not here, ini jadi bilik aku. Dia pantang tengok bersepah sikit. Memang macam makcik.
Anyway, bukanlah nak kata aku suka menyepahkan barang. Just, I got too many things compared to space given. Jadi, penuh dan bersepahlah walaupun tak berniat pun.
So, I already done a bit work. Itu pun dah cukuplah daripada tak ada apa-apa langsung. Dan yang seronoknya, ada radio peneman buat kerja. Hehe...... me and radio memang tak dapat nak dipisahkan. Kalau tak berbunyi pun takpe, asalkan ada. Tapi kalau berbunyi lagi baik kan? Hehe.........................
And I made new and smaller boxes for all my stuffs (baru siap 3 dan perlukan wrappers). And harapnya by the end of this week, siaplah kemas (at least before Bear balik untuk raya).
What is my routine at home?
Bangun, buat kerja ikut suka hati nak buat apa nak tidur pun boleh dan melepak whateverlah asalkan hidup, 6.30 pergi bazar, berbuka dan kemas barang berniaga dan balik, buatlah kerja ikut suka hati nak buat apa nak tidur pun boleh dan melepak whateverlah asalkan hidup.
'buatlah kerja ikut suka hati nak buat apa nak tidur pun boleh dan melepak whateverlah asalkan hidup' tu, taklah aku totally just buang masa. Space yang ada tu, buat semua homework, kemas bilik (yang tak pernah siap kemas; eh, aku dah kemas almari solek malam tadi yeay!!!), buat kuih raya, kemas rumah (macamlah pernah buat selama ni kerja Mak and Bear sebab mereka sajalah yang rajin bab mengemas rumah ni), buat baju raya (gosh!! banyak lagi tak siap!!) dan apa-apa yang berkaitan.
But I'm relaxing at home.
Sementara masih bujanglah katakan.
Oh ye, my brother nak kahwin next year. Bergegar dunia bila aku tahu. Kemudian srotttt... srotttt... sambil bercerita dengan Abang. Kemudian Mak kata, tak apalah, kalau tak cukup nanti Mak tambahkan. Kemudian aku (^_^) balik.
Oh God, adik aku kahwin dulu. Tak apalah. Aku timang anak sedara dulu sebelum timang anak sendiri.
Okay, tak nak cakap pasal anak. Sangat sensitif.
Mari buat kuih raya. Today I nak buat biskut sarang semut dan biskut bunga cina. Hehe.....
Esok pergi sekolah.
Tuesday 31 August 2010
Too Relax
Sungguh. Semalam, balik sekolah aku tidur. Dan malam tu hanya mengemas bilik, tak usik langsung kerja. Dan sekarang pun rasa macam malas sangat nak mula buat kerja even laptop dah ada atas riba.
Risau tu ada. Sebab I know, a day of relaxing without doing any homework means I wont have enough time to finish them all before the deadline. Actually, my 'practical' work for PBS is already finish. Just to add up several collaboration and reflection forms. But to type the rest, macam susah gila. And I can even do almost all of the KKBI pedagogy assignment, and PBS science, sebab hampir semua bahan dah dapat.
Oh manusia, rajinlah!!
p/s : petang ni nak buat kuih raya. yeay!!!
Risau tu ada. Sebab I know, a day of relaxing without doing any homework means I wont have enough time to finish them all before the deadline. Actually, my 'practical' work for PBS is already finish. Just to add up several collaboration and reflection forms. But to type the rest, macam susah gila. And I can even do almost all of the KKBI pedagogy assignment, and PBS science, sebab hampir semua bahan dah dapat.
Oh manusia, rajinlah!!
p/s : petang ni nak buat kuih raya. yeay!!!
Monday 30 August 2010
First Day of SBE at SK Mahmud
Sangat........warm. Rasa macam jauh beza dengan SBE yang pertama dahulu. Cikgu yang ada pun sangat membantu. Students tak tahu lagilah. Baru masuk satu kelas, dan murid-muridnya okay dan tak nakal sangat. Cuma banyak bercakap saja. Sampai sakit gegendang telinga aku.
Khamis masuk kelas, bukan tugasan Pedagogy. Jumaat mungkin masuk kelas lagi, buat tugasan Sains.
Esok cuti!! Hahahahahaha....
Kerja dah menimbun menunggu (^_^)
Khamis masuk kelas, bukan tugasan Pedagogy. Jumaat mungkin masuk kelas lagi, buat tugasan Sains.
Esok cuti!! Hahahahahaha....
Kerja dah menimbun menunggu (^_^)
Sunday 29 August 2010
Of Paper and Paper
Esok nak ke sekolah. Right, yang berada di Kelantan dah pun ke sekolah hari ni.
Tak suka!! Tak suka!!
Bukan sebab apa, cuma bila memikirkan tugasan yang dapat tu, kepala jadi pusing pula.
What should I do actually? What concept should I teach to the students, and what teaching aid tools should I make?
Sekarang sedang meneliti HSP dan buat keputusan.
Tak suka!! Tak suka!!
Bukan sebab apa, cuma bila memikirkan tugasan yang dapat tu, kepala jadi pusing pula.
What should I do actually? What concept should I teach to the students, and what teaching aid tools should I make?
Sekarang sedang meneliti HSP dan buat keputusan.
Friday 27 August 2010
First Day At Home
Penat!! Tak buat apa sangat. Tapi sangat panas di rumah.
Sahur tadi, I thought Hafiz (my cousin) was at home. So, bangun pagi tadi sarung tudung terus. Dan tak makan pun. Minum susu dan naik bilik terus tak tengok orang sekeliling pun. Siangnya baru aku tahu Hafiz tak ada di rumah pun. Dia balik rumah Wan tiap malam.
Okay, pagi esok boleh makan dengan aman.
Right, tahun ni Hafiz dan Dekli tolong Mak Abah berniaga. Bagus juga. Budak dua orang tu bukan kerja pun. Daripada melepak saja, baik tolong Mak Abah. Income pun masuk.
Hujung minggu ni semua adik beradik aku ada di rumah. Dan hari ni aku tak rasa nak ke bazar. Rasa penat sangat, plus nak siapkan sikit-sikit kerja yang ada. Kadang-kadang rasa nak menangis tengok assignments yang ada. Kenapa perlu timbun-timbunkan. Everyone nak kejar deadline, kejar syllabus, etc. Memang sangat banyak tutorials and ISLs, presentation yang tertangguh. Itu tak kira lagi lecturer yang selalu tak ada, ke praktikumlah, meetinglah, clash kelaslah, etc. Jadi semuanya main kejar-kejar.
-rasa macam nak give up sangat-sangat-
Sahur tadi, I thought Hafiz (my cousin) was at home. So, bangun pagi tadi sarung tudung terus. Dan tak makan pun. Minum susu dan naik bilik terus tak tengok orang sekeliling pun. Siangnya baru aku tahu Hafiz tak ada di rumah pun. Dia balik rumah Wan tiap malam.
Okay, pagi esok boleh makan dengan aman.
Right, tahun ni Hafiz dan Dekli tolong Mak Abah berniaga. Bagus juga. Budak dua orang tu bukan kerja pun. Daripada melepak saja, baik tolong Mak Abah. Income pun masuk.
Hujung minggu ni semua adik beradik aku ada di rumah. Dan hari ni aku tak rasa nak ke bazar. Rasa penat sangat, plus nak siapkan sikit-sikit kerja yang ada. Kadang-kadang rasa nak menangis tengok assignments yang ada. Kenapa perlu timbun-timbunkan. Everyone nak kejar deadline, kejar syllabus, etc. Memang sangat banyak tutorials and ISLs, presentation yang tertangguh. Itu tak kira lagi lecturer yang selalu tak ada, ke praktikumlah, meetinglah, clash kelaslah, etc. Jadi semuanya main kejar-kejar.
-rasa macam nak give up sangat-sangat-
Thursday 26 August 2010
Pengutip Sampah
Aku tertarik membaca tajuk berita ni; 'Foraging Hard For Extra Duit Raya'. My first impression when reading the title, 'kesiannya'. But when I read through the article, I said 'WOW!!'
Wanna know why? I copied the article from NST, feel free to read.
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Foraging hard for extra 'duit raya'
BACHOK: For about 100 scavengers at the Kampung Gong Nibong dumpsite in Beris Lalang, looking for recyclable items in exchange for cash has become more urgent during the month of Ramadan as they make preparations for Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
Picking through the heaps, they gathered materials such as plastic and glass bottles, aluminium cans and scrap metal which could be sold to recycling agents and scrapyard dealers.
Some of them could cash in their day's collection for between RM50 and RM70 -- enough to feed their families.
One of the scavengers, Tuan Jarah Tuan Ismail, 62, from Kampung Pantai Dasar Sabak said she had been involved in collecting recyclable materials for the past 20 years.
"I earn between RM30 and RM40 a day selling the waste to recycling agents. I took up this work to get earn extra income while my husband works as a security guard in Kota Baru."
She said with their combined income, she and her husband could raise their nine children, aged between 20 and 35.
Noriah Mat San, 52, from Pengkalan Chepa in Kota Baru, said her husband and their 19-year-old son joined her recently in search for the recyclable waste.
"We begin about 9am and finish about 5pm. During the fasting month, there are times that we have to break our fast at the dumpsite as we have to work long hours to collect more stuff.
"On a good day, we can get as much as RM70 from our efforts."
Mohd Faizal Mohd Salleh, 24, said he switched from driving taxi to scavenging at the dumpsite early this year as it was more lucrative to sell recyclable materials.
He claimed that he could earn as much as RM2,000 a month, a vast improvement from the time he drove the taxi, which earned him only about RM400 a month.
"The coming Hari Raya will be meaningful for my family as I can afford to buy many things including getting new clothes for my two daughters, who are 1 and 3 years old."
He admitted that he felt embarrassed in the beginning when some friends knew that he worked at a rubbish site.
But, he added, he gradually overcame the shame as the income from his efforts was more than sufficient to support his family.
Read more: Foraging hard for extra 'duit raya' http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/8thrashing/Article/#ixzz0xfoYZU5H
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RM30 per day? Just by scavenging?
I got several points here. First, we produce huge mass of rubbish per day. Isn't that amazing. Next we can feed our kids with the money from the rubbish we threw eh?
Can see that a 19 years old guy joined his parents collecting rubbish in the article above? And how much money can he get per day? With that money, young people may stop going to school even at very young age. Isn't that a waste for the country?
And, see a RM400-per-month-paid taxi driver stop from driving taxi because by scavenging he got 5 times more than that. We in Malaysia are paid low, but in the same time the country is rich and got many money. Where does the money goes?
Just a point to ponder.
Wanna know why? I copied the article from NST, feel free to read.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Foraging hard for extra 'duit raya'
BACHOK: For about 100 scavengers at the Kampung Gong Nibong dumpsite in Beris Lalang, looking for recyclable items in exchange for cash has become more urgent during the month of Ramadan as they make preparations for Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
Picking through the heaps, they gathered materials such as plastic and glass bottles, aluminium cans and scrap metal which could be sold to recycling agents and scrapyard dealers.
Some of them could cash in their day's collection for between RM50 and RM70 -- enough to feed their families.
One of the scavengers, Tuan Jarah Tuan Ismail, 62, from Kampung Pantai Dasar Sabak said she had been involved in collecting recyclable materials for the past 20 years.
"I earn between RM30 and RM40 a day selling the waste to recycling agents. I took up this work to get earn extra income while my husband works as a security guard in Kota Baru."
She said with their combined income, she and her husband could raise their nine children, aged between 20 and 35.
Noriah Mat San, 52, from Pengkalan Chepa in Kota Baru, said her husband and their 19-year-old son joined her recently in search for the recyclable waste.
"We begin about 9am and finish about 5pm. During the fasting month, there are times that we have to break our fast at the dumpsite as we have to work long hours to collect more stuff.
"On a good day, we can get as much as RM70 from our efforts."
Mohd Faizal Mohd Salleh, 24, said he switched from driving taxi to scavenging at the dumpsite early this year as it was more lucrative to sell recyclable materials.
He claimed that he could earn as much as RM2,000 a month, a vast improvement from the time he drove the taxi, which earned him only about RM400 a month.
"The coming Hari Raya will be meaningful for my family as I can afford to buy many things including getting new clothes for my two daughters, who are 1 and 3 years old."
He admitted that he felt embarrassed in the beginning when some friends knew that he worked at a rubbish site.
But, he added, he gradually overcame the shame as the income from his efforts was more than sufficient to support his family.
Read more: Foraging hard for extra 'duit raya' http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/8thrashing/Article/#ixzz0xfoYZU5H
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RM30 per day? Just by scavenging?
I got several points here. First, we produce huge mass of rubbish per day. Isn't that amazing. Next we can feed our kids with the money from the rubbish we threw eh?
Can see that a 19 years old guy joined his parents collecting rubbish in the article above? And how much money can he get per day? With that money, young people may stop going to school even at very young age. Isn't that a waste for the country?
And, see a RM400-per-month-paid taxi driver stop from driving taxi because by scavenging he got 5 times more than that. We in Malaysia are paid low, but in the same time the country is rich and got many money. Where does the money goes?
Just a point to ponder.
Wednesday 25 August 2010
Kari Kambing, Terbaik!!!
One of the habit I brought from UK is the liking of eating mutton. Most Malays hate mutton because of the smell. And of course Indians are the ones who eat mutton a lot.
Why did I said from UK? Because there are lots of Indians, Paskitani, Bangladeshi in the UK. If you go to a kebab shop, you never find a donor kebab with option of beef. You only got choices between chicken and mutton, or both.
In Malaysia, if you want to have mutton, just go to Mamak's restaurant. It is the best to have it their style. And frankly speaking, I like Indian curry more than curry made by Malay. But aware, some Mamak's restaurant is not really Mamak's. There might be Indian's pretending to be Mamak's. One thing to sure, look at the menu. If they got beef included, it means the restaurant is Mamak's.
Oh, I'm hoping to have 'beriani kambing'. Last time, I didn't get it. A lot of disappointment that day.
By the way, I'm going home tomorrow. Yeay!!! And I think I want to bring home as many as I can, because of the 'new policy'. Just don't want to take any risk with that person.
Oh I hate this day. I've been disturbed by 'something' early this morning. Next, being hold because of 'going late to class' even the time was still long before 7.45. Then, got a rushed presentation as the lecturer want to catch up with the supposed topic to be covered. After that, water is out again. Next,got up late this evening, and I guess my classmates are pissed off at me again because I should help in serving for the iftar.
Others? To be continued. No day is perfect.
Why did I said from UK? Because there are lots of Indians, Paskitani, Bangladeshi in the UK. If you go to a kebab shop, you never find a donor kebab with option of beef. You only got choices between chicken and mutton, or both.
In Malaysia, if you want to have mutton, just go to Mamak's restaurant. It is the best to have it their style. And frankly speaking, I like Indian curry more than curry made by Malay. But aware, some Mamak's restaurant is not really Mamak's. There might be Indian's pretending to be Mamak's. One thing to sure, look at the menu. If they got beef included, it means the restaurant is Mamak's.
Oh, I'm hoping to have 'beriani kambing'. Last time, I didn't get it. A lot of disappointment that day.
By the way, I'm going home tomorrow. Yeay!!! And I think I want to bring home as many as I can, because of the 'new policy'. Just don't want to take any risk with that person.
Oh I hate this day. I've been disturbed by 'something' early this morning. Next, being hold because of 'going late to class' even the time was still long before 7.45. Then, got a rushed presentation as the lecturer want to catch up with the supposed topic to be covered. After that, water is out again. Next,got up late this evening, and I guess my classmates are pissed off at me again because I should help in serving for the iftar.
Others? To be continued. No day is perfect.
Tuesday 24 August 2010
In Mood of Writing
I love to write, even simplest things and non-important things. But surprisingly, I hate to write in diary. On paper, I mean.
Since I was in primary school, I used to attempt writing stories. Love stories, unfortunately. And since that, I write. But none ever finished. Berhenti separuh jalan.
Even these past few years, I write. Poems, short stories, stories and even series. But again, berhenti separuh jalan.
When I finished school, I tend to write things about life. Mostly about what I feel, because that effect the whole story making it more real. And slowly, I progress of writing facts and comments on daily incident, because that is what I'm in love today.
I realised, I'm not easily 'istiqamah' in doing things. I like to spend all the time doing one thing, and never can do it bit by bit because when I'm out of idea, I'm out. I like to do work fast, and can never wait patiently over some delays. When I'm doing it, I'm doing it. Often, I've been told by my parents to come down and join the family, or eat. But I simply can't.
Only one thing that can stop me. Sleep. That is one of the top priorities for me, because that is the only chance for me to stop thinking. I think a lot, sometimes for simple things such as people's look towards me. And for one particular thing, it takes sometimes years for me to stop thinking. And I hate it.
So that is why I sleep a lot.
I am having headache since yesterday regarding assignments, how to pack my things (I'm thinking about the process involving each particular things), where to put them, my food supply for this week, next coming SBE and how to approach the teachers and all, how to do the work, practical report especially what I am doing now and specifically what the hell ether is actually, when's the allowance will be deposited and how will be the situation when I'm going to buy the laptop, how will be the situation of me with my family for this three weeks will there be any bad things happen, will my cousin live in there, should I bring back the printer alone or should I put it in its box, and lots of things which I think almost simultaneously.
Gila.
So, writing actually does limit the things that I'm thinking and seems like a good diversion for me. Tapi apa-apa pun, ianya berkesan jika menulis apa yang kita minat. For instance, if you hate writing assignments, how can you understand what you write and reflect what you got throughout the process?
Unless you just copy and paste.
Since I was in primary school, I used to attempt writing stories. Love stories, unfortunately. And since that, I write. But none ever finished. Berhenti separuh jalan.
Even these past few years, I write. Poems, short stories, stories and even series. But again, berhenti separuh jalan.
When I finished school, I tend to write things about life. Mostly about what I feel, because that effect the whole story making it more real. And slowly, I progress of writing facts and comments on daily incident, because that is what I'm in love today.
I realised, I'm not easily 'istiqamah' in doing things. I like to spend all the time doing one thing, and never can do it bit by bit because when I'm out of idea, I'm out. I like to do work fast, and can never wait patiently over some delays. When I'm doing it, I'm doing it. Often, I've been told by my parents to come down and join the family, or eat. But I simply can't.
Only one thing that can stop me. Sleep. That is one of the top priorities for me, because that is the only chance for me to stop thinking. I think a lot, sometimes for simple things such as people's look towards me. And for one particular thing, it takes sometimes years for me to stop thinking. And I hate it.
So that is why I sleep a lot.
I am having headache since yesterday regarding assignments, how to pack my things (I'm thinking about the process involving each particular things), where to put them, my food supply for this week, next coming SBE and how to approach the teachers and all, how to do the work, practical report especially what I am doing now and specifically what the hell ether is actually, when's the allowance will be deposited and how will be the situation when I'm going to buy the laptop, how will be the situation of me with my family for this three weeks will there be any bad things happen, will my cousin live in there, should I bring back the printer alone or should I put it in its box, and lots of things which I think almost simultaneously.
Gila.
So, writing actually does limit the things that I'm thinking and seems like a good diversion for me. Tapi apa-apa pun, ianya berkesan jika menulis apa yang kita minat. For instance, if you hate writing assignments, how can you understand what you write and reflect what you got throughout the process?
Unless you just copy and paste.
Berpandangan Senget
Right, mungkin ramai yang akan mengutuk aku nanti. Tak kisahlah.
I want to talk about business. Kecilkan lagi skop, bisness yang tak memerlukan penjualan produk atau perkhidmatan. Cari ahli, letak bawah kita, galakkan lagi cari ahli bawah kepada ahli yang kita dapat tadi untuk dapat komisyen.
I don't have any idea what is that for. Mengembangkan perniagaan?
Frankly, I have tiny knowledge about business, apatah lagi benda ni. Some people may say bisnes MLM. That is just a phrase yang orang selalu guna dan aku selalu dengar.
Bad thing is, some people (especially not really educated ones) tend to join this kind of business. Yalah, katanya untung banyak, modal kurang, hanya perlu cari orang. Siapa tak nak cepat kaya kan? And they've been fed with photos of successful people who I see got about 10 to 20 big cars, luxurious houses, wear exclusive clothes and so on, who already done the business.
The latest I found, they also put this phrase: boleh hantar mak ayah pergi haji. And actually, I've been suggested to join this and that reason above is used. Rasa macam.... what the heck? Orang kita selalunya disogokkan dengan duit dan kesenangan. Kali ni menggunakan 'pendekatan agama'?
Tak salah untuk banyak duit. But then, please consider how the money comes. And consider, should you get lots of money with ease? Actually, business is still business. The ads said you just need to pay a little amount of money for registration and that's all. Actually, you are encouraged to attend talks and workshops of how to attract people with the business, learn to talk whatsoever. And you have to pay. And for those who are 'buta IT', need to attend IT classes. Believe me, I know someone who doesn't even know how to open microsoft word, let alone to handle a website or making ads. So of course they'll go to the classes, and in the end, they just hire someone to do the work.
These people usually attack those guys who are really 'buta IT'and old people. Sangat sedih sebenarnya. The money that they spent for the business actually can be used in other way. But everything is burnt just like that.
Sesetengah orang memang berniat baik. Nak tolong bangsa sendiri. Lagipun perniagaan adalah salah satu punca rezeki terbesar dan boleh mengubah ekonomi dunia. But I don't see any kind of business present in there. Just... cari ahli. At least if promoting products, boleh terima jugalah.
That is just my personal opinion, based on my experience. Not to condemn anyone, just giving a point of view about this.
I want to talk about business. Kecilkan lagi skop, bisness yang tak memerlukan penjualan produk atau perkhidmatan. Cari ahli, letak bawah kita, galakkan lagi cari ahli bawah kepada ahli yang kita dapat tadi untuk dapat komisyen.
I don't have any idea what is that for. Mengembangkan perniagaan?
Frankly, I have tiny knowledge about business, apatah lagi benda ni. Some people may say bisnes MLM. That is just a phrase yang orang selalu guna dan aku selalu dengar.
Bad thing is, some people (especially not really educated ones) tend to join this kind of business. Yalah, katanya untung banyak, modal kurang, hanya perlu cari orang. Siapa tak nak cepat kaya kan? And they've been fed with photos of successful people who I see got about 10 to 20 big cars, luxurious houses, wear exclusive clothes and so on, who already done the business.
The latest I found, they also put this phrase: boleh hantar mak ayah pergi haji. And actually, I've been suggested to join this and that reason above is used. Rasa macam.... what the heck? Orang kita selalunya disogokkan dengan duit dan kesenangan. Kali ni menggunakan 'pendekatan agama'?
Tak salah untuk banyak duit. But then, please consider how the money comes. And consider, should you get lots of money with ease? Actually, business is still business. The ads said you just need to pay a little amount of money for registration and that's all. Actually, you are encouraged to attend talks and workshops of how to attract people with the business, learn to talk whatsoever. And you have to pay. And for those who are 'buta IT', need to attend IT classes. Believe me, I know someone who doesn't even know how to open microsoft word, let alone to handle a website or making ads. So of course they'll go to the classes, and in the end, they just hire someone to do the work.
These people usually attack those guys who are really 'buta IT'and old people. Sangat sedih sebenarnya. The money that they spent for the business actually can be used in other way. But everything is burnt just like that.
Sesetengah orang memang berniat baik. Nak tolong bangsa sendiri. Lagipun perniagaan adalah salah satu punca rezeki terbesar dan boleh mengubah ekonomi dunia. But I don't see any kind of business present in there. Just... cari ahli. At least if promoting products, boleh terima jugalah.
That is just my personal opinion, based on my experience. Not to condemn anyone, just giving a point of view about this.
Wajah Dua
Hypocrite, as most of us said. Why am I saying this? Because many people say I am one of those people who got two 'characteristics'. Simply said, I pretend to be nice and good, but the truth is, I am not.
Not even proud of that. Who does?
Seriously, that is the reason I want to be like me in the past. As people said, I am hypocrite, why don't I just be bad? So, people will say 'patut pun perangai tak elok, memang jenis bukan budak baik pun.'
But then, that's what others said, others' points of view.
What about mine?
I just pretend I didn't hear any 'hints' or whatever I heard from people surrounding, from them who hates me, dislike me and those who like to judge. They have their own reasons, whatsoever.
It is my fault, not being perfect from the core. I just took the wrong path at the beginning and not dare to change.
Not even proud of that. Who does?
Seriously, that is the reason I want to be like me in the past. As people said, I am hypocrite, why don't I just be bad? So, people will say 'patut pun perangai tak elok, memang jenis bukan budak baik pun.'
But then, that's what others said, others' points of view.
What about mine?
I just pretend I didn't hear any 'hints' or whatever I heard from people surrounding, from them who hates me, dislike me and those who like to judge. They have their own reasons, whatsoever.
It is my fault, not being perfect from the core. I just took the wrong path at the beginning and not dare to change.
Another Assignments Dude..
Yepp.. we got 3 more. One is supposed to be submitted today. But since we just got it, I'm not sure when should we submit. Second one need to be submitted on 21st Sept (gila aahhhh!!) and the last one will be on 28th.
Oh mengapakah ini berlaku???
Oh mengapakah ini berlaku???
Monday 23 August 2010
Ohhhhhoooooo... assignment(S)
Hari ini, dengan kepala gua yang dah pusing-pusing macam 'spinning gasing', dikejutkan dengan pengkhabaran berkenaan presentation Literasi Bahasa yang perlu dilakukan pada esok harinya. Demmm.. gila punya last minute. Baru bersenang lenang dengan tamatnya exhibition last week (yang diiringi demam yang dah pun infect a quarter of the class dan makin merebak). That is number one.
Second is, assignment Literasi Bahasa baru saja kami tahu kewujudannya hari ini DAN, tarikh untuk hantar assignment tu adalah HARI INI. AlhamduliLLah, dengan budi bicara lecturer => hantar lepas cuti. Not yeay yet, because I got more.
I believe, almost all students in here got lots of assignments and reports to deal with during this semester, especially during the week of Raya's break (sebab ada SBE). Guess what, we (science students), got 4 lab reports, LB's assignment and MAB's assignment to be submitted on 20th Sept, which is the first day after the break!! That's 6 things to settle, at least.
And, on 23th Sept, we need to submit the Pedagogy KKBI.
And for my LB group, our last presentation (which includes the activities) will be on 20th Sept too. So, that is really a headache.
That's not all. Within two weeks after the break, we need to finish writing the assignments for SBE, Science SBE, and KKBI Science.
I don't know about others, but I believe everyone will be in stress for the next one month.
Good luck guys!!
Second is, assignment Literasi Bahasa baru saja kami tahu kewujudannya hari ini DAN, tarikh untuk hantar assignment tu adalah HARI INI. AlhamduliLLah, dengan budi bicara lecturer => hantar lepas cuti. Not yeay yet, because I got more.
I believe, almost all students in here got lots of assignments and reports to deal with during this semester, especially during the week of Raya's break (sebab ada SBE). Guess what, we (science students), got 4 lab reports, LB's assignment and MAB's assignment to be submitted on 20th Sept, which is the first day after the break!! That's 6 things to settle, at least.
And, on 23th Sept, we need to submit the Pedagogy KKBI.
And for my LB group, our last presentation (which includes the activities) will be on 20th Sept too. So, that is really a headache.
That's not all. Within two weeks after the break, we need to finish writing the assignments for SBE, Science SBE, and KKBI Science.
I don't know about others, but I believe everyone will be in stress for the next one month.
Good luck guys!!
Sunday 22 August 2010
Lapo....
Seriously, rasa lapar. I think I need real food. But then, if I eat a real food, I tend not to finish it up. Rasa sangat kenyang pula. Or worst, loya-loya macam semalam.
Tidur sajalah. Sahur nanti baru makan.
Tidur sajalah. Sahur nanti baru makan.
Ceria Dunia..Huru Hara!!
Rasa macam nak demam. Kepala pusing, menangis beb!! Oh, sungguh memalukan menangis dengan teruk sampai bengkak mata sebab tak dapat balik rumah dan berbuka bersama-sama.
Last Ramadhan, Abang selalu datang ke bazar, tolong kami berjual. Then berbuka sama-sama di belakang gerai, with my family too. It was such a nice experience. I really feel like a family, with the ones I love most. And I planned to do the same today. Tapi tak jadi kan. He got fever. And he doesn't trust me driving. So, twice of cancelled 'balik kampung' trip, and twice of cancelled iftar beramai-ramai.
I noticed, recently, both of us easily got fever. Simple just by overwork a bit, and then tersadai atas katil tak boleh nak buat apa. Next day, gagahkan diri pergi juga kerja.
Emm, ada kerja yang kena hantar esok. Mujur ada satu saja.
Kepala sakit.....
Last Ramadhan, Abang selalu datang ke bazar, tolong kami berjual. Then berbuka sama-sama di belakang gerai, with my family too. It was such a nice experience. I really feel like a family, with the ones I love most. And I planned to do the same today. Tapi tak jadi kan. He got fever. And he doesn't trust me driving. So, twice of cancelled 'balik kampung' trip, and twice of cancelled iftar beramai-ramai.
I noticed, recently, both of us easily got fever. Simple just by overwork a bit, and then tersadai atas katil tak boleh nak buat apa. Next day, gagahkan diri pergi juga kerja.
Emm, ada kerja yang kena hantar esok. Mujur ada satu saja.
Kepala sakit.....
Hanya Angan-Angan
Apa yang kita rancang, tak semua jadi kenyataan.
Kalau minggu depan tak jadi balik rumah lagi aku tak tau la.
Kalau minggu depan tak jadi balik rumah lagi aku tak tau la.
Apa Kes Hari Ahad Bangun Awal Tak Tido Balik Pastu Kemas-Kemas Bilik Basuh Baju Semua????
Hahahahahaha...sengal!!
Oleh kerana keadaan air di sini sangat menyedihkan, maka apabila tiba peluang air ada, maka bergumbiralah rakyat jelata berkejar-kejaran seawal jam 1 pagi membasuh baju dan mengumpul air, mandi tu memanglah, malahan sampai ada yang memang nak kena pelangkung pegi potong queue.
Sekarang baru jam 11. Aku dah melepek dah. Macam mana nak balik rumah ni? Oh, takpe. Sanggup bersusah payah demi beriani kambing. Hari ni nak serbu restoran mamak, kalaulah tak penuh. Kalau penuh pun, tapau saja. Pedulikkan!! Aku dah lebih seminggu menahan gelora hati.
Oh Mak dan Abah tercinta!! Anakandamu ingin pulang.
Heh, tak boleh blah. Padahal rumah dekat aje. Abah nak ambil dan hantar, masing-masing sibuk di bazar saban hari. Makanya, aku tak dapatlah nak balik selalu. Next week balik untuk PBS pun Abang yang hantarkan. Mujur lepas tu duduk rumah terus sampai habis raya.
OK, itu benda akan datang. Sekarang ni fikirkan tentang beriani kambing, kemudian buat kerja.
Aku risau aku pengsan saja. Ada gaya dah ni.
Oleh kerana keadaan air di sini sangat menyedihkan, maka apabila tiba peluang air ada, maka bergumbiralah rakyat jelata berkejar-kejaran seawal jam 1 pagi membasuh baju dan mengumpul air, mandi tu memanglah, malahan sampai ada yang memang nak kena pelangkung pegi potong queue.
Sekarang baru jam 11. Aku dah melepek dah. Macam mana nak balik rumah ni? Oh, takpe. Sanggup bersusah payah demi beriani kambing. Hari ni nak serbu restoran mamak, kalaulah tak penuh. Kalau penuh pun, tapau saja. Pedulikkan!! Aku dah lebih seminggu menahan gelora hati.
Oh Mak dan Abah tercinta!! Anakandamu ingin pulang.
Heh, tak boleh blah. Padahal rumah dekat aje. Abah nak ambil dan hantar, masing-masing sibuk di bazar saban hari. Makanya, aku tak dapatlah nak balik selalu. Next week balik untuk PBS pun Abang yang hantarkan. Mujur lepas tu duduk rumah terus sampai habis raya.
OK, itu benda akan datang. Sekarang ni fikirkan tentang beriani kambing, kemudian buat kerja.
Aku risau aku pengsan saja. Ada gaya dah ni.
Pindah 'Barang'
Ini barang baekkkkkkk punya!!!
Tak adalah. Hanya pindah entri lama di Multiply ke dalam blog ni. So, I'll have a small portion of my life from year 2009 until now. Ohhhh, kalaulah boleh nak retrieve semula semua entri 2007 dan 2008 dan 2009 yang dah dipadam tu. Then dalam blog langsirkalerbiru pulak tu. Huuuuuuuuu.. that really is a collection.
Ada satu batch lagi, dalam 10 entri yang aku malas dah nak pindahkan. Dalam sebulan dua lagi setellah kot. Itu termasuk melabel. Selalunya aku tak letak label. Sekarang ni baru nak letak, setelah terlalu banyak entri. Susah nak cari.
Anyway, welcome to those yang datang melawat. This is a personal blog, all of the content is personal. But not really something secret or too personal. Most are ramblings and my stress stories, about the past, reviews (which are totally about songs or albums), personal comments and opinions, my photography work, things that I like.
Good day!!
Tak adalah. Hanya pindah entri lama di Multiply ke dalam blog ni. So, I'll have a small portion of my life from year 2009 until now. Ohhhh, kalaulah boleh nak retrieve semula semua entri 2007 dan 2008 dan 2009 yang dah dipadam tu. Then dalam blog langsirkalerbiru pulak tu. Huuuuuuuuu.. that really is a collection.
Ada satu batch lagi, dalam 10 entri yang aku malas dah nak pindahkan. Dalam sebulan dua lagi setellah kot. Itu termasuk melabel. Selalunya aku tak letak label. Sekarang ni baru nak letak, setelah terlalu banyak entri. Susah nak cari.
Anyway, welcome to those yang datang melawat. This is a personal blog, all of the content is personal. But not really something secret or too personal. Most are ramblings and my stress stories, about the past, reviews (which are totally about songs or albums), personal comments and opinions, my photography work, things that I like.
Good day!!
Emmmm....
I was in stress yesterday, and not feeling well after iftar. Loya yang teramat sangat. Jalan pun dah terhuyung hayang dah. Kalau muntah terus tak mengapa juga. Ni loya saja, siksa sungguh.
By the way, back to the stress story. I just remembered the past, which in certain aspect, effect the current condition I am now.
My bad, I tend to act recklessly and stupidly when I'm in stress. I have this one bad behaviour, that I usually do when I'm not okay, or when I simply feel lonely. So, I did it yesterday.
Seriously, orang yang beriman, akan wujudnya akhirat, akan tidak mewenang-wenangnya membuat sesuatu yang buruk, sesuatu yang dosa. But we recklessly do everything that we want to do, say what we want to say, selalu ada bad intention dalam hati, etc. Kita jarang nak jaga hati kita.
I am really reflecting this ayah for myself. Banyak perkara dalam diri aku, dalam hati aku, yang masih tak fulfil 'the requirement' of being a Muslim, and a Mukmin. Betapa indahnya dunia ni, sampai rasa macam sayang sangat nak tinggal. Dan betapa mudahnya melupakan Allah semata-mata nak menjaga hati-hati manusia.
Apa pun, manusia itu sentiasa berubah-ubah dan tak selamanya berada ditampuk yang lama. Apa yang terjadi pada masa lalu, telah pun berlalu, dan mereka yang terlibat pun tak seperti mereka yang lalu. It is just you who don't change at all. So, go on dude. It is all just a history. Learn it, and go on with current life.
Aku nak balik rumah.
By the way, back to the stress story. I just remembered the past, which in certain aspect, effect the current condition I am now.
My bad, I tend to act recklessly and stupidly when I'm in stress. I have this one bad behaviour, that I usually do when I'm not okay, or when I simply feel lonely. So, I did it yesterday.
Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang tidak beriman kepada akhirat, Kami jadikan terasa indah bagi mereka perbuatan-perbuatan mereka (yang buruk), sehingga mereka bergelimang dalam kesesatan.An-Naml:4
Seriously, orang yang beriman, akan wujudnya akhirat, akan tidak mewenang-wenangnya membuat sesuatu yang buruk, sesuatu yang dosa. But we recklessly do everything that we want to do, say what we want to say, selalu ada bad intention dalam hati, etc. Kita jarang nak jaga hati kita.
I am really reflecting this ayah for myself. Banyak perkara dalam diri aku, dalam hati aku, yang masih tak fulfil 'the requirement' of being a Muslim, and a Mukmin. Betapa indahnya dunia ni, sampai rasa macam sayang sangat nak tinggal. Dan betapa mudahnya melupakan Allah semata-mata nak menjaga hati-hati manusia.
Apa pun, manusia itu sentiasa berubah-ubah dan tak selamanya berada ditampuk yang lama. Apa yang terjadi pada masa lalu, telah pun berlalu, dan mereka yang terlibat pun tak seperti mereka yang lalu. It is just you who don't change at all. So, go on dude. It is all just a history. Learn it, and go on with current life.
Aku nak balik rumah.
Saturday 21 August 2010
What To Write Eh?
I'm in class, thought to do some typing for my PCK report. But then I realised I left the results in my dorm.
Well, talk about classic and nostalgic. I got a neighbour next-door, who likes to come to my room when she is homesick, just to listen songs I played with my cassette player. That is because, sound from radio is somewhat nostalgic for her, reminding her to her home and family. Really, the sound is different even if you play the same song from your mp3 player.
Nowadays, we just depend on our mp3 player, or our laptop, desktop. Less people is actually buying the real album. That's what happen when advance technology presents. And, why bother buying when you can get for free?
Isn't that a kind of stealing?
I do have mp3's too. So, I do steal. I usually 'steal' songs which the album is difficult to find now. I'm all crazy about the 80's and early 90's rock and metal albums. And it is almost impossible to find one. And overseas metal albums too. So, that is my reason. But for movies, so far I only have one pirated movie, and one I copied from my friends.
When we talk about movies, I love to have them in high definition. Which, I can play on large screen. Downloaded ones usually have low definition, they look awful even played on your laptop.
I just realised, there are not much movies in dvd in Malaysia. Just being used of using dvd, it's a mess having to change the cd in the middle of the story. But the pros is, vcd is cheaper.
When I was in UK, I always do cassettes hunting at car boot sale. And it was damn difficult to find one. One time, I found this Gary Moore 'still got the blues' album. And I got it for free, because I bought about 5 LPs that time.
I also hunt in Amazon UK, but the prices are too high. Even if the items are sold for 1 p each, you need to pay for the postage, which will cost you total around GBP 3 or 4 for each item.
Now I already stop hunting. That's simply because I have no idea of what to buy. Next, maybe I'll start collecting videos and concert vcds. That, might be after 5 years from now. I need to spare my money for something else first.
It is fun having a hobby. It is like an identity for you. But for me, my parents are always grunting because of my hobby (and identity). They talk about the albums I got, songs I listen, friends I got. I remember this one day when Mak was browsing over Facebook, she came across my post, and this one person, I bet you all know, Ustaz Radzi ex-vocalist for Melissa (popular song - Cinta Untuk Nabila), he replied to my post. Mak asked me, how come he knew me? I just said, 'rockers kan...'. Lepas tu dia mencebik.
That, is what I always received for years.
I always being told what to be, how to behave, what I should like, what I should do, who should I be friends with etc. It's like, being programmed like a robot. That is what I feel, others might think it is not. It depends. I easily protest, and I want to be my own self.
I have bad memories about this, and it effects me for years, until I lost my head and going crazy. Well, bad things are bad after all. Just try making it positive.
Seems I write a bit long this time. I'll stop now.
Well, talk about classic and nostalgic. I got a neighbour next-door, who likes to come to my room when she is homesick, just to listen songs I played with my cassette player. That is because, sound from radio is somewhat nostalgic for her, reminding her to her home and family. Really, the sound is different even if you play the same song from your mp3 player.
Nowadays, we just depend on our mp3 player, or our laptop, desktop. Less people is actually buying the real album. That's what happen when advance technology presents. And, why bother buying when you can get for free?
Isn't that a kind of stealing?
I do have mp3's too. So, I do steal. I usually 'steal' songs which the album is difficult to find now. I'm all crazy about the 80's and early 90's rock and metal albums. And it is almost impossible to find one. And overseas metal albums too. So, that is my reason. But for movies, so far I only have one pirated movie, and one I copied from my friends.
When we talk about movies, I love to have them in high definition. Which, I can play on large screen. Downloaded ones usually have low definition, they look awful even played on your laptop.
I just realised, there are not much movies in dvd in Malaysia. Just being used of using dvd, it's a mess having to change the cd in the middle of the story. But the pros is, vcd is cheaper.
When I was in UK, I always do cassettes hunting at car boot sale. And it was damn difficult to find one. One time, I found this Gary Moore 'still got the blues' album. And I got it for free, because I bought about 5 LPs that time.
I also hunt in Amazon UK, but the prices are too high. Even if the items are sold for 1 p each, you need to pay for the postage, which will cost you total around GBP 3 or 4 for each item.
Now I already stop hunting. That's simply because I have no idea of what to buy. Next, maybe I'll start collecting videos and concert vcds. That, might be after 5 years from now. I need to spare my money for something else first.
It is fun having a hobby. It is like an identity for you. But for me, my parents are always grunting because of my hobby (and identity). They talk about the albums I got, songs I listen, friends I got. I remember this one day when Mak was browsing over Facebook, she came across my post, and this one person, I bet you all know, Ustaz Radzi ex-vocalist for Melissa (popular song - Cinta Untuk Nabila), he replied to my post. Mak asked me, how come he knew me? I just said, 'rockers kan...'. Lepas tu dia mencebik.
That, is what I always received for years.
I always being told what to be, how to behave, what I should like, what I should do, who should I be friends with etc. It's like, being programmed like a robot. That is what I feel, others might think it is not. It depends. I easily protest, and I want to be my own self.
I have bad memories about this, and it effects me for years, until I lost my head and going crazy. Well, bad things are bad after all. Just try making it positive.
Seems I write a bit long this time. I'll stop now.
Friday 20 August 2010
Gila Baju Masih Tak Habis
Mungkin sebab utamanya adalah baju raya aku tak siap lagi. So keep thinking, bila nak sambung jahit ni? And dah berminggu, nak beli tudung warna apa sebenarnya. I was thinking of making my own tudung with satin, in red to match my baju raya. Maybe will look good on me, even aku ni gelap hitam. Hehe...
Seluk poket, mungkin ada sikit duit. And I am planning of making a jubah, that can be worn with any outer layer dress made from chiffon. Maybe for next year raya. Hoho.. I am crazy of making clothes sekarang ni.
And, I was planning of making alteration to my sleeveless dresses (which I already made one), by adding sleeves on them. And I already altered several short sleeve t shirt by adding additional sleeves, and it works. It is really great knowing some basic skills; like sewing for example, so we can change the outfit to what we want it to be.
I like the idea of adding something at the end of the sleeves, for baju kurung or jubah. We already see nowadays people like to add sparkling stones (I don't know what they are called, but usually people put them on tudung). I love to add buttons, lace, sequins and beads, other than the stones. But sure needs lots of time and patient to do so, except for the lace. That is the simplest, I guess. But I thought, it is better to add them to plain coloured baju, kalau tak nanti sparkles tu tak menyerlah.
Lots and lots of love about making baju right now. Making my own collection of dress line, walaupun tak cantik mana tapi puas hati because you make it by your own.
Seluk poket, mungkin ada sikit duit. And I am planning of making a jubah, that can be worn with any outer layer dress made from chiffon. Maybe for next year raya. Hoho.. I am crazy of making clothes sekarang ni.
And, I was planning of making alteration to my sleeveless dresses (which I already made one), by adding sleeves on them. And I already altered several short sleeve t shirt by adding additional sleeves, and it works. It is really great knowing some basic skills; like sewing for example, so we can change the outfit to what we want it to be.
I like the idea of adding something at the end of the sleeves, for baju kurung or jubah. We already see nowadays people like to add sparkling stones (I don't know what they are called, but usually people put them on tudung). I love to add buttons, lace, sequins and beads, other than the stones. But sure needs lots of time and patient to do so, except for the lace. That is the simplest, I guess. But I thought, it is better to add them to plain coloured baju, kalau tak nanti sparkles tu tak menyerlah.
Lots and lots of love about making baju right now. Making my own collection of dress line, walaupun tak cantik mana tapi puas hati because you make it by your own.
The Exhibition Ended
AT LAST!!!
I've been on bed for days because of it. Demam tak jadi. Tekak sakit, badan lemah tu, biasalah. Just hope life will be as usual; just homework and reports to be write. That, is for next week. Another week is for PBS. I'm going to SK Mahmud. Sekolah Zakwan, my youngest brother.
Nak balik rumah.
I've been on bed for days because of it. Demam tak jadi. Tekak sakit, badan lemah tu, biasalah. Just hope life will be as usual; just homework and reports to be write. That, is for next week. Another week is for PBS. I'm going to SK Mahmud. Sekolah Zakwan, my youngest brother.
Nak balik rumah.
Wednesday 18 August 2010
Demam Sudah..
Akhirnya, demam juga. Balik ke kelas tadi menyeret kaki, takut-takut pengsan. AlhamduliLlah tak ada apa yang jadi. Sampai bilik, terus baring, tidur.
I cannot afford of getting sick dalam bulan puasa ni. As I woke up later, badan dah panas, dan rasa sejuk. Walau sejuk macam mana pun, aku cuba mandi. Just to cool up my body temperature. Then berbuka tadi, prepare mushroom soup, and bihun sup (instant one). Sekarang rasa dah berpeluh sikit.
One tip my sister gave me, jangan pakai sweater atau berselimut tebal. Minimumkan pakaian, jadi haba dalam badan tu boleh keluar.
My parents sangat sibuk bulan puasa ni, and Abang pula kerja shift petang-malam minggu ni. So, kena jadi kuat. Tunggulah minggu depan. I jadi macam budak-budak, mengada-ngada, merengek.
I cannot afford of getting sick dalam bulan puasa ni. As I woke up later, badan dah panas, dan rasa sejuk. Walau sejuk macam mana pun, aku cuba mandi. Just to cool up my body temperature. Then berbuka tadi, prepare mushroom soup, and bihun sup (instant one). Sekarang rasa dah berpeluh sikit.
One tip my sister gave me, jangan pakai sweater atau berselimut tebal. Minimumkan pakaian, jadi haba dalam badan tu boleh keluar.
My parents sangat sibuk bulan puasa ni, and Abang pula kerja shift petang-malam minggu ni. So, kena jadi kuat. Tunggulah minggu depan. I jadi macam budak-budak, mengada-ngada, merengek.
Tuesday 17 August 2010
Fogging, Pening, dan Exhibition
This week terasa amat sangat penat. And hari ni, dalam 10 minit lagi nak berbuka, rasa macam nak pengsan. Penat sangat kah? Tidur cukup, rehat cukup, makan cukup.
Sekarang rasa macam nak demam. Badan sudah rasa lain macam. Dan tidur petang tadi diganggu dengan bunyi bising (mesin fogging), dan bila tersentak dari tidur, kepala jadi bertambah sakit dan pening.
Rasa macam nak balik rumah.
Sekarang teringin sangat nak makan roti dengan kari kerang banyak-banyak. And beriani kambing.
Please cepat sampai ke next week.
Sekarang rasa macam nak demam. Badan sudah rasa lain macam. Dan tidur petang tadi diganggu dengan bunyi bising (mesin fogging), dan bila tersentak dari tidur, kepala jadi bertambah sakit dan pening.
Rasa macam nak balik rumah.
Sekarang teringin sangat nak makan roti dengan kari kerang banyak-banyak. And beriani kambing.
Please cepat sampai ke next week.
Monday 16 August 2010
Justice - Nilai Perjanjian
Justice adalah salah satu kumpulan yang aku minat. Penerbit bagi album kumpulan ini ialah Khalid Mobin dari kumpulan Rusty Blade, kalau tak salah aku. Jadi tak hairanlah muziknya memang tajam-tajam dan best. Dalam lagu ni, solo gitarnya macam mendayu-dayu terutama pada intro dan outro. Dan suara vokalisnya antara suara yang pada aku, bertenaga dan high pitchnya pun sedap.
Terserah pada diri masing-masing untuk menilai.
Nilai Perjanjian
Semalaman tak berbintang
Kabus menyusup dinihari
Menutup kenyataan yang terbentang
Membuai hati sepi
Menyiram luka pedih.
Kasih yang dulu ku kagumi
Terang merentap cinta suci
Yang hias di dalam kamar hati
Meninggalkan kenangan
Menghempas impian.
Resah membelai harapan
Nilai perjanjian dihati yang leka
Hanya merupakan permainan kata
Derai airmata jatuh bercucuran
Mengalir mengeruh menghanyutkan
Dan mendamparkan daku di pantai yang sepi.
(solo)
Nilai perjanjian dihati yang leka
Hanya merupakan permainan kata
Derai airmata jatuh bercucuran
Mengalir mengeruh menghanyutkan
Dan mendamparkan daku di pantai yang sepi.
Terserah pada diri masing-masing untuk menilai.
 |
Nilai Perjanjian
Semalaman tak berbintang
Kabus menyusup dinihari
Menutup kenyataan yang terbentang
Membuai hati sepi
Menyiram luka pedih.
Kasih yang dulu ku kagumi
Terang merentap cinta suci
Yang hias di dalam kamar hati
Meninggalkan kenangan
Menghempas impian.
Resah membelai harapan
Nilai perjanjian dihati yang leka
Hanya merupakan permainan kata
Derai airmata jatuh bercucuran
Mengalir mengeruh menghanyutkan
Dan mendamparkan daku di pantai yang sepi.
(solo)
Nilai perjanjian dihati yang leka
Hanya merupakan permainan kata
Derai airmata jatuh bercucuran
Mengalir mengeruh menghanyutkan
Dan mendamparkan daku di pantai yang sepi.
Sunday 15 August 2010
Bukti Kebosanan
Let see... I wrote 3 entries today, excluding this. Which means, I am really bored. What else did I do this weekend? Well, ironing clothes, sorting and folding the clothes in my wardrobe, washing clothes, sewing my Eid clothes, browsing over clothes. All the things are about clothes. Just thank God I am unable to do online shopping anymore. If not, I could spend more than RM1000 per night. Really, I can. And I did it several times before, when I have my online banking, and very useful debit card. That's the reason why I don't want to open Maybank account because I know I will spend on something when I am bored.
Oh rindu Amazon dan stuffs yang menarik dalam tu. And charity shops and car-boot sales in UK. I did browse over bundle shops around Raub, Mentakab and Temerloh. There are not many choices for women. The one that I found in Batu Caves is nice. But then, I was restraining myself of not buying too much (sebab Mak dah bising aku beli baju bundle). They are actually nice. Especially the jeans. I found several nice jeans long skirts there. But Mak said, the waist is too wide. Well, there is actually NONE that fits my waist. Even the trousers.
I guess I want to take a look again at that shop anytime I go to Batu Caves. The place is just next to the large temple.
Oh rindu Amazon dan stuffs yang menarik dalam tu. And charity shops and car-boot sales in UK. I did browse over bundle shops around Raub, Mentakab and Temerloh. There are not many choices for women. The one that I found in Batu Caves is nice. But then, I was restraining myself of not buying too much (sebab Mak dah bising aku beli baju bundle). They are actually nice. Especially the jeans. I found several nice jeans long skirts there. But Mak said, the waist is too wide. Well, there is actually NONE that fits my waist. Even the trousers.
I guess I want to take a look again at that shop anytime I go to Batu Caves. The place is just next to the large temple.
Another 2 Weeks for SBE
Thank God, the exhibition is this week, so free of unwanted rush of everything. I don't know, sometimes when there is something big ahead, we tend to act chaotically and urging everyone to move fast, where actually, there is still lots of time.
Well, not everyone can relax in such situation.
Right, I found this article in Facebook, and I think I should share this with everyone.
I found out the content in this article is a very good reminder for me, who always tend to move back to my past. And a good wake up call each time I feel down or feel a bit 'rebelling'.
I promised Abang to stop smoking. I don't really like the promise, but then I thought, this can be a good turning point of living healthily. I already slowed it down, why don't just stop it completely?
'Mai, kalau nak jadi baik, nak jadi seorang Muslim, kena tinggalkan perkara-perkara yang tak elok, yang dilarang, yang haram.'
Ahhh, susahnya nak berubah!!
Well, not everyone can relax in such situation.
Right, I found this article in Facebook, and I think I should share this with everyone.
Janji & Sumpah Iblis Terhadap Wanita
I found out the content in this article is a very good reminder for me, who always tend to move back to my past. And a good wake up call each time I feel down or feel a bit 'rebelling'.
I promised Abang to stop smoking. I don't really like the promise, but then I thought, this can be a good turning point of living healthily. I already slowed it down, why don't just stop it completely?
'Mai, kalau nak jadi baik, nak jadi seorang Muslim, kena tinggalkan perkara-perkara yang tak elok, yang dilarang, yang haram.'
Ahhh, susahnya nak berubah!!
New Laptop
Bila dengar cerita elaun kemungkinan akan masuk sebelum raya, aku dah set nak beli laptop baru, replacing mine yang rosak tu. Sebenarnya terbelah bagi, nak beli laptop ke, nak simpan untuk kahwin. But then, the laptop that I am using now is Mak's. And she needs it. Dan laptop Pokcik yang dipinjam buat sementara waktu tu, banyak buttons yang rosak. So, tak mengapalah RM1000++. InsyaAllah, ada rezeki, cukup juga duit simpanan tu nanti.
So I browsed over Dell and Acer, because these two I knew got mini laptop. I want to have a small one so that I can bring it anywhere, easier for me to carry and not really heavy. I always balik kampung, and carrying load about 4-5 kg at my back, walking under the heat is a trouble. So, with a small and lighter laptop makes my life easier.
This one is from Dell, which is Mini Inspiron. Weigh about 1 kg, and the specs are okay.
And this one is from Acer, Aspire One 532. Weigh about 1 kg too, and the specs are okay except for the processor. But since I use Acer all these times, I guess I'll choose Acer. Plus, Dell broke easily, from my observation.
Why red? I think I would to have coloured one other than black. And red is my colour recently. I like wine red, and I think red sticks out from others. But if the colour is out of stock, black is okay.
Just pray I got enough money, insyaAllah.
So I browsed over Dell and Acer, because these two I knew got mini laptop. I want to have a small one so that I can bring it anywhere, easier for me to carry and not really heavy. I always balik kampung, and carrying load about 4-5 kg at my back, walking under the heat is a trouble. So, with a small and lighter laptop makes my life easier.
This one is from Dell, which is Mini Inspiron. Weigh about 1 kg, and the specs are okay.
And this one is from Acer, Aspire One 532. Weigh about 1 kg too, and the specs are okay except for the processor. But since I use Acer all these times, I guess I'll choose Acer. Plus, Dell broke easily, from my observation.
Why red? I think I would to have coloured one other than black. And red is my colour recently. I like wine red, and I think red sticks out from others. But if the colour is out of stock, black is okay.
Just pray I got enough money, insyaAllah.
Oh Sangat Happy!!
Tadi borak-borak dengan Yan!! Lama sangat tak jumpa. Then tadi tengok guna webcam. Nampak tambah cantik. Hehe... tak dapat nak tengok Husna lagi. Nanti-nanti nak borak dengan dia pula.
Those are my friends. Gaduh-gaduh tak puas hati pun masih kawan. Dulu kami memang trio, tapi since aku selalu buat hal, selalunya mereka berdua saja.
Regretting the past. Emm, benda dah berlalu kan? And I am happy with my life now, so as them. AlhamduliLlah.
Those are my friends. Gaduh-gaduh tak puas hati pun masih kawan. Dulu kami memang trio, tapi since aku selalu buat hal, selalunya mereka berdua saja.
Regretting the past. Emm, benda dah berlalu kan? And I am happy with my life now, so as them. AlhamduliLlah.
Saturday 14 August 2010
Saturday Night...at Hostel
Bosan okay!!! Not much can be done. Melepak saja dari pagi sampai sekarang. Nak mengadap laptop and do homework? Well, no!
So, I kept browsing over this lovely website HIJAB STYLE, and I found lots and lots of outfits in there, suggestions etc. I wish I met this website when I was in UK. Senang nak shopping. And, I could get some of the cool outfits with low prices.
I was not really into 'dressing up'. Before, I prefer jeans and short sleeve t-shirts. Simple. That was my 'staple' outfit. To class, I just change the jeans into pants or slacks, and put a shirt or blouse above the t-shirt. That was me.
And I like it.
But as time passed, I tend to wanting to look beautiful. Well, not really. Just want to be like ladies. I tried dresses, skirts, make-up, jewellery. Bak kata Izat 'biarlah aku sendiri yang rasa nak pakai macam perempuan.' Dan aku dah rasa nak jadi macam perempuan.
Sekarang ni, kerja aku mengumpul baju kurung. Dalam tahun ni saja dalam 10 baju kurung bertambah. Gila ahhh!!! Dan tudung. Tapi tak kisahlah kan. Semuanya aku pakai. Bukan hiasan semata aje.
Okay, jadi malam ini hanya untuk cuci mata saja.
Keluhan
Aku baru membaca keluhan seorang sahabat, yang baru saja memulakan program KPLI. Memang menyedihkan. Yes, mentaliti dan suasana sungguh berbeza daripada di UK dulu. Apa yang aku boleh simpulkan, ikutkan saja dan diamkan diri. Kalau bersuara, diri sendiri yang akan susah. Tapi andai punya kekuatan, jadilah orang yang lantang dan ubahlah manusia di sekeliling kepada yang lebih baik.
Teringat zaman di kolej. Aku bukan orang yang bijak. Sikit pun tidak. Apa yang aku dapat sekarang ni purely rezeki. Tiap masa aku give up untuk belajar. Dan tiap masa itu juga Allah hantar 'back-up' untuk aku. Berada di mana-mana, dengan orang-orang yang pandai, dan diri yang dah tak mampu nak berfikir, melemahkan semangat.
Sesungguhnya manusia tu sama. Bezanya pada iman dan taqwa. Pangkat, tinggi mana pun, tetap manusia biasa. Jangan bangga dengan kedudukan, harta dan ilmu yang ada, sekejap saja Allah boleh tarik.
I just hope I will be strong enough to be here.
Friday 13 August 2010
Cool Hair Style
pic credit: www.muzikrock.com
Salah satu anggota kumpulan Fotograf. Aku suka style rambut macam ni, dan selalunya aku buat rambut macam ni.
pic credit: http://lagendarock.com
Man Rani, bassist SYJ dan Sofea. Ini zaman SYJ. Rambut panjang biasa, tapi still nampak cool, pada aku la.
pic credit: http://picsdigger.com/image/c0deccce/g
HIDE, bekas gitaris X-Japan. Memang gilalah rambut ni. Satu hari nanti, aku nak cuba buat style ni.
Mansuh Tak Mansuh Itu Kerja Orang Atas
Aku nak kata 100% setuju UPSR & PMR mansuh ni, tidaklah. Bak kata kebanyakan orang, modify mengikut keperluan semasa. Yalah, sekarang ni ibu bapa ramai yang mendesak anak dapat gred A. Kalaulah boleh, semua subjek yang ada, semuanya nak ambil. Kalau yang jenis pintar cerdas tu, biarlah. Tapi bagi yang lemah? Yang berkeperluan khas? Yang mahir dalam amali dan praktikal tapi lemah dalam menjawab soalan peperiksaan?
Semuanya kena kira. Make it 40-50% kerja kursus dan projek, a small proportion on monthly test or regular observations, and the rest on exams. Maka yang lahirnya, pelajar yang berkualiti dan punya tenaga kerja yang mahir. Bukan graduan atas kertas semata-mata.
Di kawasan perumahan aku ramai sangat dah yang berhenti sekolah. Bukan sebab miskin, atau bodoh. Tapi dah jemu.
Kalau budak-budak dah malas dan jemu nak belajar, macam mana dengan masa depan? Yang rosak itu MUSLIM. Bukan orang lain.
Semuanya kena kira. Make it 40-50% kerja kursus dan projek, a small proportion on monthly test or regular observations, and the rest on exams. Maka yang lahirnya, pelajar yang berkualiti dan punya tenaga kerja yang mahir. Bukan graduan atas kertas semata-mata.
Di kawasan perumahan aku ramai sangat dah yang berhenti sekolah. Bukan sebab miskin, atau bodoh. Tapi dah jemu.
Kalau budak-budak dah malas dan jemu nak belajar, macam mana dengan masa depan? Yang rosak itu MUSLIM. Bukan orang lain.
Second Day Passed..
Today, rasa letih juga. Angin. Tidur dengan amat lena sekali. Mujur mampu nak bangun juga gagahkan diri ke usrah.
Rasanya, hari ini hectic juga seperti semalam. Masa sangat cepat berlalu. Terkejar-kejar nak buat itu ini. But I think it is better for me to do stuffs like these past two days, rather than mengadap laptop dan buat homework or essays or answer questions semata-mata. Lebih penat memerah otak daripada memerah tenaga.
Haha..aku pernah cakap ayat yang sama masa aku kerja jadi cleaner di Caltex dulu. Waktu-waktu yang agak seronok bagi aku, walaupun penat. Masuk kerja jam 3, then kerja sampailah jam 7 non-stop, kemudian rehat dan makan (kalau tak ada costumer), dan kemas semula kedai. Jam 11 lebih sikit, balik rumah. Sampai rumah, melepak tengok tv atau buat apa-apa sajalah, sampai ke Subuh. Kemudian tidur sampailah tengah hari.
Bagaimana penat pun fizikal, tak sama dengan penatnya mental. Kalau kita tengok orang yang kerjanya buat research, ataupun study for final exam; lebih penat daripada buat kerja-kerja fizikal atau bersukan. Our brain sangat fragile. Penatnya boleh effect badan sekali.
That's why bila kita tengok orang yang mempunyai masalah emosi dan mental, nampak lesu. Tenaga tak ada, semangat pun hilang.
Rasanya, hari ini hectic juga seperti semalam. Masa sangat cepat berlalu. Terkejar-kejar nak buat itu ini. But I think it is better for me to do stuffs like these past two days, rather than mengadap laptop dan buat homework or essays or answer questions semata-mata. Lebih penat memerah otak daripada memerah tenaga.
Haha..aku pernah cakap ayat yang sama masa aku kerja jadi cleaner di Caltex dulu. Waktu-waktu yang agak seronok bagi aku, walaupun penat. Masuk kerja jam 3, then kerja sampailah jam 7 non-stop, kemudian rehat dan makan (kalau tak ada costumer), dan kemas semula kedai. Jam 11 lebih sikit, balik rumah. Sampai rumah, melepak tengok tv atau buat apa-apa sajalah, sampai ke Subuh. Kemudian tidur sampailah tengah hari.
Bagaimana penat pun fizikal, tak sama dengan penatnya mental. Kalau kita tengok orang yang kerjanya buat research, ataupun study for final exam; lebih penat daripada buat kerja-kerja fizikal atau bersukan. Our brain sangat fragile. Penatnya boleh effect badan sekali.
That's why bila kita tengok orang yang mempunyai masalah emosi dan mental, nampak lesu. Tenaga tak ada, semangat pun hilang.
Thursday 12 August 2010
Tormentor - Cry War
Aku tak boleh nak up lagu ni, nanti ada orang marah. Tapi seriously kali pertama dengar memang layan gila. Love the musik. Cool and boleh bikin kepala goyang. Hehe.. kalau nak cuba dengar, cuba google. Aku ada jumpa dalam Youtube, tapi bunyi burok. By the way, ni lirik yang aku jumpa.
Cry War
All night you can feel all the blood it runs
Dying from the death of the machine gun
Crying on a field without mercy
Death in your eyes you have never seen
Torment all the priests on earth
Quarter all the enemies tonight
Nail all their corpses to the cross
Choose the dirty laughing from your face
Cry war
Flashlight is taking all the flash from your face
Torture feels like the fastest black race
Dying everyday it is the same
Laughing about the corpses in this game
Cry War
All night you can feel all the blood it runs
Dying from the death of the machine gun
Crying on a field without mercy
Death in your eyes you have never seen
Torment all the priests on earth
Quarter all the enemies tonight
Nail all their corpses to the cross
Choose the dirty laughing from your face
Cry war
Flashlight is taking all the flash from your face
Torture feels like the fastest black race
Dying everyday it is the same
Laughing about the corpses in this game
Wednesday 11 August 2010
Here Goes The First Day....
Selamat menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. Semoga keberkatan yang ada di dalam bulan ini kita rasai bersama dan sama-samalah kita ambil kesempatan untuk memperbaiki diri dan amalan kita, supaya menjadi manusia dan muslim yang baik dan paling penting, bertaqwa.
Aku taklah nak cakap banyak sangat kali ni. Sementara nak set-up 'attach file' di e-mail, nak bercerita berkenaan hari pertama berpuasa di sini. Sebenarnya, sejak semalam sibuk dan tak fikir sangat nak berpuasa. Plus, aku memang ada tabiat tidur siang, dan siang tadi sangat perlu tidur sebab malamnya aku tidur jam 5.30. So, basically aku rasa sangat penat.
Puasa kali ni, rasanya macam puasa zaman kolej dulu, ie disebabkan TAKNAK ke surau dan TAKNAK solat Maghrib dulu baru makan, aku berbuka dengan MAGGI selama sebulan. Makan nasi hanya waktu sahur. Tapi bagus jugalah ada dewan makan. Makanan memang terjamin ada, dan sedap. Sekarang ni, bukanlah macam dulu sampai BENCI surau. Cuba untuk ke surau. Memang sangat malas. Dan rasa lagi berbaloi duduk bilik buat kerja, ataupun just melepak. Tapi, orang bodoh saja yang masuk lombong emas tapi tak bawa keluar emas walau sedikit pun. Itu, perumpamaan yang seorang lecturer aku bagi. Ramadhan kali ni, aku harap dapatlah tarawih sekurang-kurangnya 5 hari. Rasanya dah 7 tahun tak tarawih. Kali terakhir kalau tak silap aku masa di SHAH dulu.
Berbuka puasa hari ni, mengingatkan aku zaman hidup di UK dulu. Makan apa saja yang ada. Berhari-hari tak makan nasi itu adalah biasa. Kerjanya hanyalah mengadap laptop. Makan bila rasa nak makan saja. Bukan perkara penting.
About the same here. Bezanya dulu berpoya-poya, sekarang ni mengadap laptop buat kerja yang bertimbun-timbun.
I just hope, akan ada perubahan bagi diri aku selepas Ramadhan kali ni. Dan mula dari Ramadhan lepas, aku mula dan cuba biasakan diri dengan tudung labuh. Alhamdulillah setakat ini okay, dan harap Ramadhan kali ni akan tetap hati aku untuk bertudung labuh. That's physically. Dalamannya, yang pertama sekali agak aku teguh hati untuk jadi seorang muslimah dan tak kembali jadi jahat balik. And the rest will follow.
Aku taklah nak cakap banyak sangat kali ni. Sementara nak set-up 'attach file' di e-mail, nak bercerita berkenaan hari pertama berpuasa di sini. Sebenarnya, sejak semalam sibuk dan tak fikir sangat nak berpuasa. Plus, aku memang ada tabiat tidur siang, dan siang tadi sangat perlu tidur sebab malamnya aku tidur jam 5.30. So, basically aku rasa sangat penat.
Puasa kali ni, rasanya macam puasa zaman kolej dulu, ie disebabkan TAKNAK ke surau dan TAKNAK solat Maghrib dulu baru makan, aku berbuka dengan MAGGI selama sebulan. Makan nasi hanya waktu sahur. Tapi bagus jugalah ada dewan makan. Makanan memang terjamin ada, dan sedap. Sekarang ni, bukanlah macam dulu sampai BENCI surau. Cuba untuk ke surau. Memang sangat malas. Dan rasa lagi berbaloi duduk bilik buat kerja, ataupun just melepak. Tapi, orang bodoh saja yang masuk lombong emas tapi tak bawa keluar emas walau sedikit pun. Itu, perumpamaan yang seorang lecturer aku bagi. Ramadhan kali ni, aku harap dapatlah tarawih sekurang-kurangnya 5 hari. Rasanya dah 7 tahun tak tarawih. Kali terakhir kalau tak silap aku masa di SHAH dulu.
Berbuka puasa hari ni, mengingatkan aku zaman hidup di UK dulu. Makan apa saja yang ada. Berhari-hari tak makan nasi itu adalah biasa. Kerjanya hanyalah mengadap laptop. Makan bila rasa nak makan saja. Bukan perkara penting.
About the same here. Bezanya dulu berpoya-poya, sekarang ni mengadap laptop buat kerja yang bertimbun-timbun.
I just hope, akan ada perubahan bagi diri aku selepas Ramadhan kali ni. Dan mula dari Ramadhan lepas, aku mula dan cuba biasakan diri dengan tudung labuh. Alhamdulillah setakat ini okay, dan harap Ramadhan kali ni akan tetap hati aku untuk bertudung labuh. That's physically. Dalamannya, yang pertama sekali agak aku teguh hati untuk jadi seorang muslimah dan tak kembali jadi jahat balik. And the rest will follow.
Monday 9 August 2010
Keadaan Air Yang Menyedihkan
Entahlah. Bak kata Mak 'nak buat macam mana. Jimat-jimatlah air yang ada tu.'
Ini namanya dugaan Allah. Orang istimewa saja Allah duga banyak-banyak ni. Sebab Allah nak tingkatkan darjat kita, nak hapuskan dosa-dosa kita. Jadi, bersyukurlah.
Well, itu ayat selepas rasa macam.... penat sangat. Letih rasanya nak hadapi banyak masalah dalam masa yang singkat. Memang sangat penat. Fizikal dan emosi dua-dua diuji. Dan saat tu juga iman tu rasa macam nak tercarik-carik.
Baik, mari sambung buat kerja.
Ini namanya dugaan Allah. Orang istimewa saja Allah duga banyak-banyak ni. Sebab Allah nak tingkatkan darjat kita, nak hapuskan dosa-dosa kita. Jadi, bersyukurlah.
Well, itu ayat selepas rasa macam.... penat sangat. Letih rasanya nak hadapi banyak masalah dalam masa yang singkat. Memang sangat penat. Fizikal dan emosi dua-dua diuji. Dan saat tu juga iman tu rasa macam nak tercarik-carik.
Baik, mari sambung buat kerja.
Arab & Aidit - Warna Hampa
Baru saja discover lagu ni. Biasalah, in one album, orang selalunya dengar lagu 'hit' saja. Anyway, lagu ni adalah track terakhir dalam satu-satunya album Arab & Aidit, iaitu Anak Alam pada tahun 1991.
Warna Hampa
Untuk apa lagi bicara
Jika kosong belaka
Memebakar rasa hati jiwa
Terasing rebah dalam kepasrahan
Terlontar ku tiada berhaluan.
Untuk apa lagi setia
Jika masih curiga
Menimbul hiba dan kecewa
Dalam arena yang penuh berliku
Menjadi laungan cinta yang palsu.
Keindahan tiada lagi kurasakan
Kau bunga yang megah
Pasti berubah
Sehingga terlupa ditelan alpa
Aku jadi melara.
Untuk apa lagi bersama
Kasih telah tiada
Rinduku pudar warna hampa
Apalah ertinya persahabatan
Jika masih bertopeng kebendaan.
(solo)
Jiwaku resah meronta
Jiwaku parah tersiksa
Kau manusia yang berpura
Hentikanlah lakonanmu
Yang mengambil kesempatan
Tanpa belas kasihan.
Keindahan tiada lagi kurasakan
Kau bunga yang megah
Pasti berubah
Sehingga terlupa ditelan alpa
Aku jadi melara.
Untuk apa lagi bersama
Kasih telah tiada
Rinduku pudar warna hampa
Apalah ertinya persahabatan
Jika masih bertopeng kebendaan.
|
Warna Hampa
Untuk apa lagi bicara
Jika kosong belaka
Memebakar rasa hati jiwa
Terasing rebah dalam kepasrahan
Terlontar ku tiada berhaluan.
Untuk apa lagi setia
Jika masih curiga
Menimbul hiba dan kecewa
Dalam arena yang penuh berliku
Menjadi laungan cinta yang palsu.
Keindahan tiada lagi kurasakan
Kau bunga yang megah
Pasti berubah
Sehingga terlupa ditelan alpa
Aku jadi melara.
Untuk apa lagi bersama
Kasih telah tiada
Rinduku pudar warna hampa
Apalah ertinya persahabatan
Jika masih bertopeng kebendaan.
(solo)
Jiwaku resah meronta
Jiwaku parah tersiksa
Kau manusia yang berpura
Hentikanlah lakonanmu
Yang mengambil kesempatan
Tanpa belas kasihan.
Keindahan tiada lagi kurasakan
Kau bunga yang megah
Pasti berubah
Sehingga terlupa ditelan alpa
Aku jadi melara.
Untuk apa lagi bersama
Kasih telah tiada
Rinduku pudar warna hampa
Apalah ertinya persahabatan
Jika masih bertopeng kebendaan.
What Is Going On In Here
I still have love for my past. Love dear, not just like.
Why is that happen? Well, the best reason is I am not a good example of people who are istiqamah in everything that they do. And I tend to react on situations, rather than being cool and let everything just go.
And I have lots of situations; well, everybody has. I'm not the only one suffering.
No, I ain't blaming anyone; just me. Just... how weak I am. How... fragile I am. Damn!! I ought not to be like that again.
One time, I dare to say, I don't want to be a Muslim anymore. Why is that? Because of people's expectations. I dare to quit studying because of people's expectation, before. Yeah, I'm at that level.
I can't make people shut their mouth. And I know, there is something wrong in here (sambil tekap dada); in my heart. I pray and pray a lot, please Allah, make me strong. I want to be a Muslim, I want to be a good person, because that's the way You will accept me.
I should just be deaf, so I can hear nothing. And heartless, so I can cool down each time everything comes upon me. But I can't.
Allah is testing me. I suppose to know that.
Why is that happen? Well, the best reason is I am not a good example of people who are istiqamah in everything that they do. And I tend to react on situations, rather than being cool and let everything just go.
And I have lots of situations; well, everybody has. I'm not the only one suffering.
No, I ain't blaming anyone; just me. Just... how weak I am. How... fragile I am. Damn!! I ought not to be like that again.
One time, I dare to say, I don't want to be a Muslim anymore. Why is that? Because of people's expectations. I dare to quit studying because of people's expectation, before. Yeah, I'm at that level.
I can't make people shut their mouth. And I know, there is something wrong in here (sambil tekap dada); in my heart. I pray and pray a lot, please Allah, make me strong. I want to be a Muslim, I want to be a good person, because that's the way You will accept me.
I should just be deaf, so I can hear nothing. And heartless, so I can cool down each time everything comes upon me. But I can't.
Allah is testing me. I suppose to know that.
Saturday 7 August 2010
Main Gitar
Ini gambar bekas gitar aku. Bekas tu maksudnya aku dah jual pada orang lain. Gitar ni kecil berbanding dengan gitar biasa. Sebabnya aku ni kecik, tangan pun pendek. I really love guitar, followed by drum, next is bass. Masa aku beli ni, aku memang nak belajar main gitarlah. Anip jadi cikgu, tapi pernah belajar sekali saja. Sebabnya, aku give up. Kadang-kadang tu, ada note yang perlu dicover oleh kelima-lima jari. Jari kelingking aku tak boleh nak bengkok mengikut arahan yang diberi oleh otak aku. Dan kalau dia bengkok pun, sakit. Setelah beberapa lama, aku give up untuk belajar. Dan aku pun masa tu nak balik Malaysia dah, so better jual saja.
Baru-baru ni, masa aku cari kain pasang untuk baju raya, melintas depan kedai alat musik. Adalah nampak gitar dan bass bergantung dalam kedai tu. Sayu saja tengok. Dalam hati teringin nak main, tapi tak boleh. Hehehehehe... macam apa-apa entah.
Maybe that's why I love rock so much. Dengar bunyi gitar ngengggg ngengggg tu rasa syok habis.
P/S : Tengah layan Earthshaker T-O-K-Y-O 'tokiyo!!! aoooooo.......'
P/S : Anip sekarang dah jadi professor... uni mana tah, aku lupa dah.
Anak-Anak
Program Semarak Kasih, or whatever it is called, we in here supposed to be their 'kakak angkat', and take care of them in their two days in here. Me and Ija got one, named Salia, but after 5 to 6 hours of waiting, she didn't come. Demam.
How disappointed I was. Slow-slow jalan balik bilik, sampai saja bilik, air mata mencurah-curah. Tapi akhirnya berkongsi kasih dengan jiran sebelah. Hehe...
Her name is Wak Jadi, Ita called her Diey (ini, dia saja nak mengenakan sesetengah orang). She is very shy, I heard she speaks just once when she was with her friend, Wak Pulang yang dijaga oleh jiran sebelah punya jiran sebelah. Not really understand Bahasa Melayu. And oh, she's from Lenjang.
Mengikut cerita Ija, students from Lenjang mula-mula naik bot dari kampung mereka. Then naik lori hingga ke Betau. Mereka sepatutnya naik bas yang disediakan maktab untuk ke sini, tapi terlepas, jadi mereka continue naik lori sampai ke maktab. Budak-budaknya kecil-kecil belaka. Kami masa menunggu tu, rasa kesian sangat, dan aku pun jadi teruja amatlah menanti diaorang ni. (That's one of the reason rasa hampa bila 'anak' aku tak datang.)
Anyway, yang pakai topi tu Jadi, yang pakai tudung tu Pulang. Mereka ni kawan baik di sekolah. Ada lagi seorang, namanya Wak Nena. Tapi duduk di blok lain. Semalam kami cari, tapi tak jumpa. Ni berhias ni sebab ada pertandingan pakaian beragam. Sebenarnya Jadi tak dapat masuk sebab datang lambat, tapi kami suruh Ita pergi menyelit, bawa naik ke pentas. And terpilih dan menang hamper. Pada awalnya Jadi tak nak masuk. Penat agaknya. Malam tu dia demam.
Ini gambar Jadi dan Ita. Hadiah disampaikan oleh Tengku Puan Pahang. I heard Tengku said, 'macam Micheal Jackson' sambil gelak-gelak dengan Puan Razimah atas pentas tu. Well, Jadi memang lain sikit dari orang lain last night.
Hari ni diaorang nak balik dah. Rasa macam sekejap sangat diaorang kena duduk sini.
I'm gonna miss them.
How disappointed I was. Slow-slow jalan balik bilik, sampai saja bilik, air mata mencurah-curah. Tapi akhirnya berkongsi kasih dengan jiran sebelah. Hehe...
Her name is Wak Jadi, Ita called her Diey (ini, dia saja nak mengenakan sesetengah orang). She is very shy, I heard she speaks just once when she was with her friend, Wak Pulang yang dijaga oleh jiran sebelah punya jiran sebelah. Not really understand Bahasa Melayu. And oh, she's from Lenjang.
Mengikut cerita Ija, students from Lenjang mula-mula naik bot dari kampung mereka. Then naik lori hingga ke Betau. Mereka sepatutnya naik bas yang disediakan maktab untuk ke sini, tapi terlepas, jadi mereka continue naik lori sampai ke maktab. Budak-budaknya kecil-kecil belaka. Kami masa menunggu tu, rasa kesian sangat, dan aku pun jadi teruja amatlah menanti diaorang ni. (That's one of the reason rasa hampa bila 'anak' aku tak datang.)
Anyway, yang pakai topi tu Jadi, yang pakai tudung tu Pulang. Mereka ni kawan baik di sekolah. Ada lagi seorang, namanya Wak Nena. Tapi duduk di blok lain. Semalam kami cari, tapi tak jumpa. Ni berhias ni sebab ada pertandingan pakaian beragam. Sebenarnya Jadi tak dapat masuk sebab datang lambat, tapi kami suruh Ita pergi menyelit, bawa naik ke pentas. And terpilih dan menang hamper. Pada awalnya Jadi tak nak masuk. Penat agaknya. Malam tu dia demam.
Ini gambar Jadi dan Ita. Hadiah disampaikan oleh Tengku Puan Pahang. I heard Tengku said, 'macam Micheal Jackson' sambil gelak-gelak dengan Puan Razimah atas pentas tu. Well, Jadi memang lain sikit dari orang lain last night.
Hari ni diaorang nak balik dah. Rasa macam sekejap sangat diaorang kena duduk sini.
I'm gonna miss them.
Wednesday 4 August 2010
Size Does Matter
Ramai juga yang menegur aku terlalu kurus. Well, not intentionally saja nak jadi kurus. Size ni maintain, makan banyak atau kurang tetap macam ni, berat pun tak berubah.
Ramai di luar sana, terutama perempuan yang sangat fobia berkenaan saiz dan berat badan ni. Just bear in mind, untuk apa saiz yang kecil andai ada penyakit atau sentiasa tak sihat? And most of the girls I met, size mereka okay. Just fine. Yalah, manusia susah nak bersyukur kan? Nak cari baju yang padan, senang. Nak cari kasut yang padan, senang. Cuma bila ada kawan yang kurang sikit berat badannya dari kita, kita dah jadi susah hati. Padahal, dia ringan sikit sebab badan dia memang kecil.
One day, bila umur meningkat, anak dah besar-besar, dah tak kisah dah saiz macam mana. And if size really matters, jagalah terutamanya bila lepas bersalin. Dan jangan jadi malas. Jangan sampai suami tegur baru nak mula.
For me, tak perlu beria-ia nak diet sampai kesihatan terganggu. Kita bukan nak jadi model. Kita nak jadi sihat. Dan lain kali, kalau nak banding-banding, bandinglah BMI. Rasanya lagi logik kot daripada nak banding-bandingkan berat badan macam tu aje.
Sakit Kepala, Tekak, Badan, Hati
Sakit kepala dan badan itu, sebab angin attack. Tak boleh minum kopi, tapi minum juga. Well, ubat sebenarnya, kind of. Itu pun sepatutnya 2 kali sehari, aku minum sekali sehari saja. Kalau tak, mau pengsan angin menyerang bertubi-tubi.
Sakit tekak ni, entahlah. Kering sangat kot. Minum air dah banyak dah, kena minum banyak lagi.
Sakit hati pula sebab internet agak slow. Tengah download video dari Youtube, untuk materials for Science Exhibition next week. Sebelum download, Firefox ada masalah entah apa tah. Lepas ni aku nak install semulalah benda ni. Even jarang sangat guna Firefox, tapi sangat berguna untuk download banyak benda.
Emm, dah lama blog aku tak bertukar wajah. Header tu sebenarnya untuk blog MinahRok. Tapi aku dah malas nak sambung siri tu. Jadi aku guna saja untuk blog ni. Dan, aku kembali ke 'langsirkalerbiru'!! Hati dah terubat mungkin, dari kesedihan masa lalu. Dan sekarang aku tengah transfer entri-entri yang ada di Multiply. Sayang sangat, entri aku sejak 2007 dah pun aku delete. Dalam sebulan aku selalunya taip 50 - 60 entri, kali 12 dah 720. Kemudian kalau darab 3, dapat 2160. Memang sangat banyak. Tapi itulah, dulu cepat sangat berasa hati, tertekan, ikut perasaan etc. Semua kena delete, konon nak lari dari semua. Hehe...
Itu zaman muda yang banyak pancaroba. Sekarang pun banyak, cuma dah cool down sikit.
Minggu ni aku rasa minggu paling tak best. Esok ada PJ 3 jam, Jumaat ada Pedagogi 4 jam dan tak boleh nak balik rumah sebab ada kelas ganti pada hari Sabtunya. Tapi mungkin balik juga petang Sabtu nanti, depends pada keadaan.
Okay, nak sambung usha handbags di Amazon UK. Sangat thrilled okay!!
Sakit tekak ni, entahlah. Kering sangat kot. Minum air dah banyak dah, kena minum banyak lagi.
Sakit hati pula sebab internet agak slow. Tengah download video dari Youtube, untuk materials for Science Exhibition next week. Sebelum download, Firefox ada masalah entah apa tah. Lepas ni aku nak install semulalah benda ni. Even jarang sangat guna Firefox, tapi sangat berguna untuk download banyak benda.
Emm, dah lama blog aku tak bertukar wajah. Header tu sebenarnya untuk blog MinahRok. Tapi aku dah malas nak sambung siri tu. Jadi aku guna saja untuk blog ni. Dan, aku kembali ke 'langsirkalerbiru'!! Hati dah terubat mungkin, dari kesedihan masa lalu. Dan sekarang aku tengah transfer entri-entri yang ada di Multiply. Sayang sangat, entri aku sejak 2007 dah pun aku delete. Dalam sebulan aku selalunya taip 50 - 60 entri, kali 12 dah 720. Kemudian kalau darab 3, dapat 2160. Memang sangat banyak. Tapi itulah, dulu cepat sangat berasa hati, tertekan, ikut perasaan etc. Semua kena delete, konon nak lari dari semua. Hehe...
Itu zaman muda yang banyak pancaroba. Sekarang pun banyak, cuma dah cool down sikit.
Minggu ni aku rasa minggu paling tak best. Esok ada PJ 3 jam, Jumaat ada Pedagogi 4 jam dan tak boleh nak balik rumah sebab ada kelas ganti pada hari Sabtunya. Tapi mungkin balik juga petang Sabtu nanti, depends pada keadaan.
Okay, nak sambung usha handbags di Amazon UK. Sangat thrilled okay!!
Tuesday 3 August 2010
Gila Shopping
I am crazy about shopping right now since I decided not to buy a new laptop replacing mine yang dah rosak.
First is clothes. I bought 3 pasang of kain baju kurung. Supposedly for Raya, but then usually I wear only a pair for Raya Puasa and Raya Haji, so the rest are just saja-saja nak beli. Well, better for me to buy baju kurung than baju biasa-biasa macam blouse atau t shirt because I know I rarely wear t shirts. Yang sedia ada pun tak terpakai. Kalau baju kurung akan tahan sampai 10 atau 20 tahun lagi, so beli baju kurunglah!!
Second is handbags. Or bags. Tote bags is okay. I am now collecting bags. Senang nak padan dengan mana-mana baju yang ada. Nak beli various colours and style and sizes. And my eyes sekarang berkenan dengan 2 biji beg yang maybe akan tempah this weekend if balik rumah.
Next is kasut. Ohh, rasa macam rambang mata masuk kedai kasut. Next time aje la, bila rasa enough money to buy one. Well, memang cukup. Tapi kena fikir juga untuk masa depan.
Sejak nak jadi cikgu ni, rasa macam lain macam pula nak melawanya. Even taklah sangat melawa. I just love it. Having lots of money memang seronok. Plus aku agak bahagia sekarang. Jadi lebih seronok.
Tapi kena ingat. Ada benda yang lebih memerlukan.
First is clothes. I bought 3 pasang of kain baju kurung. Supposedly for Raya, but then usually I wear only a pair for Raya Puasa and Raya Haji, so the rest are just saja-saja nak beli. Well, better for me to buy baju kurung than baju biasa-biasa macam blouse atau t shirt because I know I rarely wear t shirts. Yang sedia ada pun tak terpakai. Kalau baju kurung akan tahan sampai 10 atau 20 tahun lagi, so beli baju kurunglah!!
Second is handbags. Or bags. Tote bags is okay. I am now collecting bags. Senang nak padan dengan mana-mana baju yang ada. Nak beli various colours and style and sizes. And my eyes sekarang berkenan dengan 2 biji beg yang maybe akan tempah this weekend if balik rumah.
Next is kasut. Ohh, rasa macam rambang mata masuk kedai kasut. Next time aje la, bila rasa enough money to buy one. Well, memang cukup. Tapi kena fikir juga untuk masa depan.
Sejak nak jadi cikgu ni, rasa macam lain macam pula nak melawanya. Even taklah sangat melawa. I just love it. Having lots of money memang seronok. Plus aku agak bahagia sekarang. Jadi lebih seronok.
Tapi kena ingat. Ada benda yang lebih memerlukan.
Monday 2 August 2010
Antara Syurga dan Neraka
Cakap memang senang. Really, diri kita lebih tertarik kepada perkara yang baik. Tapi external attraction pun berlambak dimerata-rata.
Sangat terasa sebenarnya masa tilawah tadi, masa baca tafsir. Sebab ada sebut berkenaan orang yang fasik. Orang yang ingkar. Dan aku hanya bayangkan aku. Then sebut tentang Surah Al-Qariah. Tentang hari kiamat.
Alangkah bagusnya jika iman sentiasa macam dalam keadaan semasa usrah. Tapi iman ni naik turun.
Dan konflik diri tercetus lagi. Dah lama, dan seringkali datang. Macam, previous life was much better. Semua orang suka hidup yang gembira kan? But think back, is it because of the way I lead my life now makes me feel unhappy, or is it because of the current surrounding makes me feel unhappy? Frankly, it is the second reason. But my heart kept saying, what if I revert back to my old life? I might feel okay. Well, MIGHT.
Bak kata Aishah, setan-setan tu banyak saja godaannya. Yep, true.
Entahlah. I pray, semuanya akan jadi baik. And I'll try, agar semuanya akan jadi baik.
Sangat terasa sebenarnya masa tilawah tadi, masa baca tafsir. Sebab ada sebut berkenaan orang yang fasik. Orang yang ingkar. Dan aku hanya bayangkan aku. Then sebut tentang Surah Al-Qariah. Tentang hari kiamat.
Alangkah bagusnya jika iman sentiasa macam dalam keadaan semasa usrah. Tapi iman ni naik turun.
Dan konflik diri tercetus lagi. Dah lama, dan seringkali datang. Macam, previous life was much better. Semua orang suka hidup yang gembira kan? But think back, is it because of the way I lead my life now makes me feel unhappy, or is it because of the current surrounding makes me feel unhappy? Frankly, it is the second reason. But my heart kept saying, what if I revert back to my old life? I might feel okay. Well, MIGHT.
Bak kata Aishah, setan-setan tu banyak saja godaannya. Yep, true.
Entahlah. I pray, semuanya akan jadi baik. And I'll try, agar semuanya akan jadi baik.
Sunday 1 August 2010
Babies
Despite all the dreams about babies and little kids (which is not good, and related to this thing we Malays call saka), I still have passion for them. Who doesn't? I got friends yang dah ada anak, and everywhere I go, they are around me. And I kept asking the same question to Abang 'bila la kita nak ada anak?'
Petang tadi, after picnic, ada budak kecik dalam 2 tahun umurnya, jalan-jalan dengan mak ayah dia and passed by me. She stopped, and grab my hand kononnya nak salam and letak tangan aku ke pipi kononnya macam cium tangan. Her skin is soft, and gebu and putih and sangat comel. What else can I say? I want children so badly.
InsyaAllah, one day, my time will come.
Petang tadi, after picnic, ada budak kecik dalam 2 tahun umurnya, jalan-jalan dengan mak ayah dia and passed by me. She stopped, and grab my hand kononnya nak salam and letak tangan aku ke pipi kononnya macam cium tangan. Her skin is soft, and gebu and putih and sangat comel. What else can I say? I want children so badly.
InsyaAllah, one day, my time will come.
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