I was not feeling well due to this menstrual thing, and me was sinking down, deep into my own self. I just felt that, people takes for granted at me, and never ever loves me.
Friends are friends, they come and go whenever they wants. And family, never be at my side whenever I need them. Such a lonely person I am. But, the truth, they don't even know how to approach me. Couldn't say much, I didn't grow up in front of their eyes.
I always want to be beautiful, smart and nice, so that everyone will like me. But I am not like that. I'm too skinny, not know how to dress beautifully, and behave well. Always mind my own business. I am weird.
Some guy, that I know, when they talk about relations between men and women, the first thing that comes up is sex. Yes, it is true marriage is the way to allow men and women to have sex legally. But, is it too important, than to love your spouse? I feel pity for women, to be their wives.
I know, Abang, as a man, sure wants to have sex with me. It's normal, and I found out myself to have the same desire too. But I know, that's not the main point of getting married. I love him, and I want to live with him. Care, and embrace him, it is more than having sex. And I will not forever young. One day, I will become old, and weak, and unattractive. And if my husband, loves me because I am beautiful, then I will not forever beautiful. But if he really loves me, even I am spoilt, or sick, he still loves me with all his heart. I hope, there's still true love in this world.
Now, I have doubt in my heart. Not because of his deed, but because I think too much of what of my mate said, he's a guy. Wanting a certain trait is not wrong, but I am thinking about myself, because I am not 'gebu-gebu'. If all men in this world are like that, what will happen to us women?
It's harsh, too harsh.
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