Monday

I always not really in term with Mondays. I don't know, maybe because it is the first day of the week which indicates the end of weekend ie holiday. And always, the day is longer if it's Monday.

Most people hate Monday. Hehe..

I just realised, that I need to do some work. I mean, I am wasting time. I am wasting my youth, and I'm getting older, and death is nearer. But I have no intention of dying yet. Not yet.

I just want another three years to pass by just like that. Somehow, I feel stuck and unable to move in this coming three years. As long as I'm still not getting paid, I am unable to do things that I want to be, what I should do. Not a good mind to begin with.

Just had a short chat with a friend back in college, we both agree that the mentality of most students in Malaysia's high institutions are a bit backward compared to their age. That is in general, but not necessary to be true.

I just want to stress that, going to high institution is not about getting degree. I looked around, I saw people who just focusing on getting their degree and have fun of life. But in all, there are people who have another thing to do for example joining societies for example religious ones or arts or politics or technologies etc, work in the societies and have something to fight for. And these people are often too busy and too active which they don't live just for themselves but for the others.
In simple words, they are not 'normal'.

I remembered an analogy. WE, the normal human beings, are usually have almost the same objective. As we grow up, we study hard, because we were told that is the licence of getting good and easy life. So we studied hard, go to school, then to universities. After that getting a job, getting married. We then are blessed with children. We then work hard to ensure our children get good education and life as we do, and then when we reach the old age, we settle down and enjoy the last days of our life.

Well, that is the general point, or maybe the life that we would like to have. Easy and resistance free.
Normal human beings usually avoid mess and is happy as long as their life are not threaten.

And I remembered something that a friend of mine told me when we were in UK, these British people, they work hard as if they are going to die that day, and when weekend comes, they release the pressure with a treat to night clubs or parties. It's nothing wrong with them, just a normal way there to socialise.

But can you relate it with the thing I mentioned before? Normal students just worried about getting their degree and after a tiresome job, have some fun for a treat.

Well, not that it is wrong.

I just feel uneasy because I am a type of not like to involve myself with others. I always confine myself within my room or people with the same mentality or understanding as mine, and choose not to speak up unnecessary which resulted me having less people around and whose I can depend on.
Sometimes I think, I become too childish, not daring to do above the normal things I do.

There are invitations of going here and there, but I'm never willing to go because I don't think my parents are okay with me travelling, and based on the road accidents involving buses, and the crimes around. I am scared.

I used to travel to another country just with several friends. And I even traveled from Malaysia to UK several times all by myself. It was easy back then, but why not now? Why I chickened?

Something need to be done. At least discussing, advices, encouragements, anything.

I must try to speak up once in a while.