He just approved me as friend in Facebook!! Yay!
Well, he was my classmate back in secondary school. He was kind of cute, until now. From what I know him, he was very quiet, rarely talk, but he's very kind and soft spoken. And he's an Indian. Mixed actually. But that really is not the case. His name is Tharsya.
There were two non-Malay in that class. One is Chinese, another is Indian. Both are male. So, usually it was just between both of them, and only girls were friendly with them.
I think everyone will be excited to meet him. Ahhh.. what a good old days!
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Grieving
Surely something sad happened, kan? Yeah, I've been grieving for about a week now. I just feel sad, and tried to have at least someone nearby so I wont lost in my thought and then cry again till I swell the eyes.
It is nothing big, but that small little thing effect me so much. Very much. Human heart is very delicate, ain't it? Sometimes I just wish I am hard.
Always, I think, should I just be like before? I want to be free, not bothered by emotional disturbance. Have this changes soften me, for me being too easy to be break, mind, soul and physical?
I am waiting for end of next year to come. I am hoping so much, everything will be fine after that. I need strength. I need to seek for it.
It is nothing big, but that small little thing effect me so much. Very much. Human heart is very delicate, ain't it? Sometimes I just wish I am hard.
Always, I think, should I just be like before? I want to be free, not bothered by emotional disturbance. Have this changes soften me, for me being too easy to be break, mind, soul and physical?
I am waiting for end of next year to come. I am hoping so much, everything will be fine after that. I need strength. I need to seek for it.
Monday, 24 January 2011
Anatomy...........Pening!
Noticed that I've changed my profile photo again? I just think that photo suits me well. Hehe...
So, what about anatomy? I have a subject called Anatomy and Physiology this semester. My lecturer said, the things that we are learning is just the surface of what first year medic students are learning. Okay... so?
It happens that my first elective is Physical Education, so what I am learning now is important; first to get the degree, and second because I might need to teach PE other than Science in school. So, I think it is very essential subject. Plus, you can learn more about something which is out of our field.
But I happen to be not really good in memorizing things. I am usually clueless about this subject, plus last year's biology lesson was like hell and it can't help me at all now. So, when there is work to do, I'm always raging and in stress; I need to work harder than everybody else. It is not good for my health though; I'm always having severe headache now.
So Mak, I'm really not suitable to be a doctor. Hehe..
So, what about anatomy? I have a subject called Anatomy and Physiology this semester. My lecturer said, the things that we are learning is just the surface of what first year medic students are learning. Okay... so?
It happens that my first elective is Physical Education, so what I am learning now is important; first to get the degree, and second because I might need to teach PE other than Science in school. So, I think it is very essential subject. Plus, you can learn more about something which is out of our field.
But I happen to be not really good in memorizing things. I am usually clueless about this subject, plus last year's biology lesson was like hell and it can't help me at all now. So, when there is work to do, I'm always raging and in stress; I need to work harder than everybody else. It is not good for my health though; I'm always having severe headache now.
So Mak, I'm really not suitable to be a doctor. Hehe..
Old Pal
I was looking at some of my old friends profile. Most of them are doing great. I just have a short chat with my close friend in primary school, named Deborah Jancey. She is now in her final year in medicine, will soon be a doctor. No, I don't regret at all for not following Mak's wish of to be a doctor, because I don't want to. Yes, if it was destined for me in medical field, I just wish I can be a forensic, because that is what I initially want to be. But I think I better playing with numbers rather than human anatomy.
Other than her, another old friend, named Esther, also in her final year in medicine. She was among the best students in school during our time. Yeah, it was usually between Esther, Andri and me. Andri is now in the US. I'm not sure what she is doing now, but I know she is doing fine. It looks as everyone is fine, other than me. And they are still contacting each other. After primary school, I left to a school far away from them. I don't know what my feeling is now. Jealous, maybe. And regret.
But if I didn't go to Clifford, I might not meet all the great people that have been in my life; the Cliffordians, KYUEMians, friends in the UK, Firdaus, Amin, Asri, and the most important, Abang.
Allah's plan really is the best for me. Even though it seems that I'm left out now, but I've learnt a lot throughout this 20+ years. And I am what I am now. And I actually am doing fine too. Maybe I have too much different path compared to them, but it doesn't mean that I'm a loser isn't it?
I just hope we can be so close as we used to be.
I think I'll spend the rest of the night trying to remember my childhood moments. (^_^)
Other than her, another old friend, named Esther, also in her final year in medicine. She was among the best students in school during our time. Yeah, it was usually between Esther, Andri and me. Andri is now in the US. I'm not sure what she is doing now, but I know she is doing fine. It looks as everyone is fine, other than me. And they are still contacting each other. After primary school, I left to a school far away from them. I don't know what my feeling is now. Jealous, maybe. And regret.
But if I didn't go to Clifford, I might not meet all the great people that have been in my life; the Cliffordians, KYUEMians, friends in the UK, Firdaus, Amin, Asri, and the most important, Abang.
Allah's plan really is the best for me. Even though it seems that I'm left out now, but I've learnt a lot throughout this 20+ years. And I am what I am now. And I actually am doing fine too. Maybe I have too much different path compared to them, but it doesn't mean that I'm a loser isn't it?
I just hope we can be so close as we used to be.
I think I'll spend the rest of the night trying to remember my childhood moments. (^_^)
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Struggling
Everyone has something that he will work his a** off to get it. Everybody has the thing they are struggling to achieve. To sit down and sit all day long without having something to do, means that that person got something wrong with him.
Work shouldn't be avoided. If you have none, find one.
That's what I believe.
I've been struggling to be accepted. Yet I'm still not. Always I kept asking myself, asking God, why put me in trouble? Why should I do what I don't want to do? Why put me in such a devastating situation?
It was long before I realised, that everything is on my choice. Why regret such decision? Why being too weak at the beginning thus blaming everyone when things are out of control? Why not believing your own power?
Don't be ashame of yourself dear. Show your true colour. You'll be happy with your life. And if you are on a track that you don't really fancy being there, get out of it. If you can't, adapt yourself to walk on it. Nothing is easy and simple. But you have two choices; whether to work it out or just let yourself rot in despair.
Yet I am still asking. Why am I too old to realise this?
Saturday, 22 January 2011
Terasa Seperti Sangat Klasik
Oh, tidak ada apa-apa sangat sebenarnya. Cuma, bila hari cuti, dan terasa seperti benar-benar berehat, dengan bersandar pada katil, dengan buku yang sangat baik, musik yang indah juga secawan kopi 'kuat' (bak kata Ijun), feel like heaven. Dan kebetulan buku yang aku baca ini agak klasik juga dimana ianya ditulis dalam hujung 1890-an, setting ialah London pada era itu, where lies all the gentlemen and 'gentle'ladies. Ahhakkkksss!!
Aku terasa aku cuma kekurangan sesuatu. Bak kata Holmes, 'some fumes which are not poisonous would be a welcome change.'
What a relaxing day it is!
Aku terasa aku cuma kekurangan sesuatu. Bak kata Holmes, 'some fumes which are not poisonous would be a welcome change.'
What a relaxing day it is!
Saya Sayang Kamera Saya
Tapi kan, jealous juga bila tengok kamera orang lain yang lagi canggih. Tapi fikir-fikir semula, tak kisahlah guna kamera apa pun hatta kamera telefon bimbit 1.3Mp sekalipun. Seandainya pandai cari angle yang tepat, mahir teknik fotografi, pun boleh hasilkan gambar yang menarik.
Jadi aku bersyukur dengan D40 yang dah 3 tahun bersama-sama dengan aku. Mahirkan dulu dengan kamera tu, belajar betul-betul cara nak guna, manipulasi aperture dan shutter, white balance, ISO dan segalanyalah. Bila dah betul-betul mahir, baru fikir semula patut beli kamera baru atau tidak.
DAN,
mahirkan diri juga dengan photoshop. Semalam, aku main-main photoshop. Aku tak pernah baca manualnya, hanya belajar secara trial and error. Dan semalam aku dapat hasilkan satu gambar yang aku sangat puas hati hanya dengan main contrast saja. Sungguh tak sangka. Dan pastinya sangat gembira.
Benar kata kawan aku, untuk menghasilkan gambar yang cantik, menarik dan kreatif bukan hanya setakat tangkap gambar guna kamera mahal saja. Tapi ianya terletak pada kreativiti untuk mengolah gambar tu.
P/S: Sebenarnya ada report yang perlu dibuat, tapi boleh pula ralit main photoshop dari semalam. Hehe....
Jadi aku bersyukur dengan D40 yang dah 3 tahun bersama-sama dengan aku. Mahirkan dulu dengan kamera tu, belajar betul-betul cara nak guna, manipulasi aperture dan shutter, white balance, ISO dan segalanyalah. Bila dah betul-betul mahir, baru fikir semula patut beli kamera baru atau tidak.
DAN,
mahirkan diri juga dengan photoshop. Semalam, aku main-main photoshop. Aku tak pernah baca manualnya, hanya belajar secara trial and error. Dan semalam aku dapat hasilkan satu gambar yang aku sangat puas hati hanya dengan main contrast saja. Sungguh tak sangka. Dan pastinya sangat gembira.
Benar kata kawan aku, untuk menghasilkan gambar yang cantik, menarik dan kreatif bukan hanya setakat tangkap gambar guna kamera mahal saja. Tapi ianya terletak pada kreativiti untuk mengolah gambar tu.
P/S: Sebenarnya ada report yang perlu dibuat, tapi boleh pula ralit main photoshop dari semalam. Hehe....
Friday, 21 January 2011
Haku & Zabuza
Okay, I'm one of the die-hard-fan of Naruto. Manga. I dislike the anime. Macam banyak tokok tambah dan ulangan yang membosankan.
Lastest episod, sambungan dimana Zabuza yang 'dihidupkan' kembali bertarung dengan Kakashi. Sebenarnya sangat menyedihkan menggunakan orang yang sudah mati untuk bertarung. Memang nampak sangat evil.
But then, ini hanya cerita rekaan.
Haku dan Zabuza muncul pada awal episod masa Naruto masih lagi kanak-kanak. Walaupun pada awalnya mereka jahat, tapi pada saat kematian mereka, terserlah kasih sayang antara 'tuan dan hamba'.
Realitinya, manusia itu sejahat manapun, tetap punya perasaan kasih sayang. Pasti ada seseorang yang mereka sayang, sama ada yang masih hidup ataupun yang telah tiada. Dan manusia itu, tetap ada kebaikannya. Sebab itu fitrah asal manusia.
Lastest episod, sambungan dimana Zabuza yang 'dihidupkan' kembali bertarung dengan Kakashi. Sebenarnya sangat menyedihkan menggunakan orang yang sudah mati untuk bertarung. Memang nampak sangat evil.
But then, ini hanya cerita rekaan.
Haku dan Zabuza muncul pada awal episod masa Naruto masih lagi kanak-kanak. Walaupun pada awalnya mereka jahat, tapi pada saat kematian mereka, terserlah kasih sayang antara 'tuan dan hamba'.
Realitinya, manusia itu sejahat manapun, tetap punya perasaan kasih sayang. Pasti ada seseorang yang mereka sayang, sama ada yang masih hidup ataupun yang telah tiada. Dan manusia itu, tetap ada kebaikannya. Sebab itu fitrah asal manusia.
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