Harsh, Am I?

As usual, I went back to Raub each time I got the chance. And as usual, if not Abah, Abang will fetch me.

So, as we reached home, Abah invited him in, just sit and watch tv, not even talk to each other except 'Tak kerja ke hari ni?', which then was me replying while pointing at his face 'Muka ni tak kerja? Orang cuti pun dia kerja, orang kerja apatah lagi.'

And during that time, I was talking to Kecik and just ignore him most of the time, until Abah said 'Pergilah buat air tu.' Then I was like 'Kena buat air ke? Abang nak air ke?' which then made Abah replied back 'Takkanlah dia nak cakap nak ke tidak.'

It was kind of funny, in a way we were asking Abang but not him answering the questions, while he was actually sit between both of us.
And a bit harsh, if I looked from my parents' point of view; well, maybe rude too. I mean, we got a guest in front of us, and he's my spouse-to-be; so it should be me to entertain him, at least bring him something to drink, but I didn't do anything about that. Well, never even think of that. And next, Mak told me to get nasi goreng for him, and I used an old, yellowish plastic plate to serve him, which got me scold from my mother especially. Hey, that's my favourite plate, so I'm sharing with him my favourites. But then, for mom, I didn't behave properly in front of people.

Actually, we both are quite talkative between us. But when there are someone else nearby, we tend to ignore, being rude to each other. I mean, I can detect he is with his friends when he picks up the phone with a strict voice. It's not like covering up; we both are harsh in words, we talk about serious matters most of the time, and he knew me being like a 'tomboy', and doesn't really bother about others, but he likes me being a bit feminine now. Well, different people have different taste eh?

I did asked him several time, 'am I okay behaving like this to you? It sometimes matters me, for most guys want their wife to be polite and gentle.'

But need to understand that harsh doesn't mean we swear. That is two different things. I rarely swear, and usually done it without me realising. Last time was today while reading the exam's questions, and that was with silent laugh. Really, I still have my bad habit of swearing something like 'damn' or 'babi' occasionally, especially when I was cynical about certain things.

And certainly I always use straight forward words, or being sarcastic when talking with others. And sometime, people got hurt. It is hard for me to cheat, people detect my lies straight ahead when I cheat. Well, even if I was telling the truth, people still don't believe me. Guess I need to tell with a straight face each time they asked me 'Kenapa tak datang?'

Some people might just know me recently, and I just want to say, what you see is not a real me yet. I'm still adjusting myself in here, and not really comfortable yet. But guess I should not stick to the old self and should move on eh?