Reverts

I am always astonished when reading about reverts. Their experiences are not miracle at all, but of sweat and time and courage and patient.

Currently I am reading a blog of a revert. She reverted to Islam when she was 18, and that was just a bit more than a year ago. She is very strong, and brave of telling her parents about her reversion despite of the result of might be disowned by her own parents. Currently her mom is okay with that, but her father already disowned her. But she still trying to contact him whenever she can, just her father never pick up the phone.

I just came to the part of how she started to learn about Islam. And really, she read not just simple books, but also the Quran. And that was when she was at school and still not reverted. See, how many of us really read thoroughly the Quran? I mean read, not just reciting what is in it. Me myself never read that much. Maybe just less than half of it. And yet, I am older than her, and much longer being in Islam than her.

And really, I feel ashame. I want to be Muslim by choice, and I need to know a lot more about my own religion, and first of all, make sure I perform the 5 times solat perfectly as Muslim should be.

During my past, I did pray. But I just pray. And I didn't understand the Fatihah itself. I just recite what should be recited. I am proud because I know lots of facts about Islam. I know what is sinful or not, but seems I chose the wrong way.

I am really thankful going to UK, because I met His hidayah there. And thanks a lot to Kak Sue especially, and all. I will never be as what I am now without everyone's effort. Yes, I know I was like fluctuating at the beginning. I was in war with my ownself. But insyaAllah, I will work hard by my own, that's the most comfortable for me to do.

And I am still learning. I want to change bit by bit, not in a big bulk like I used to do.